Laying Here


As we lay here you tell me I’ve been forgotten; your story rewritten and my chapter erased. You no longer need my bittersweet taste. I didn’t mean to treat you so harshly, but what are feelings if not just emotions that get in the way. We are all animalistic in the search for food, companionship, and warmth. A cruel society makes us change our moods.

One is quicker to judge and trip a fellow traveller than to allow them their rights to take the path just as equally walked upon as both sides have been explored generations before we were even thought of. I don’t think it’s so much right and wrong as it is cruel and kind. We all have our own truths and they are what we wake up to every morning and our parting thoughts with our brain nearing the hours of unconsciousness ahead.

Can we not agree to remember the good and move in a positive direction building up happiness over the emotional drains of past times. We should not be so quick as to steal someone’s shoes – we have no idea the places they’ve been. When at the end of your rope who do you see at the other end? Are they pulling for you or dropping the line? Whether one life or many we are building blocks of what’s to come.

Somehow we have removed the closeness out of our families. We are quick to make our children move out without teaching them about taxes, insurance, and heart-break. They know nothing of job loss, mortgages, and real sex. How are they to become worthy if they just follow your steps instead of improving on love, preservation, and evolution?

Laying here… remembering a time when I used to write my notes on paper, but typing helps me save trees, water, ink, etc. I am fighting sleep. I finished surfing the internet. I read my last page in my current book. I walked the dogs today, but not far. I still haven’t tried my new yoga video. I want to talk to you. I know that’s what I miss.

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2 Responses to Laying Here

  1. John Wise says:

    I agree with Chester. This should be a lesson to you not to post after 10:30 at night, and especially AFTER midnight!


  2. This is your most confusing piece to date. The opening line says to me that your spouse has kicked you to the curb and left you confused… you then ramble on about our being animals.

    We are not animals. A parent will go hungry that their child might eat. If not, then we refer to that parent *as an animal* because he/she is *not* doing the human thing. Animals are *driven* to companionship by instinct – humans choose companionship or solitude as their moods swing. We all choose warmth – because not to is to die. This is the same for animals and humans alike.

    Tripping up a fellow traveller only reveals our darker side – that we choose to give in to. Most of us choose to help our fellow traveller – it is the spirit inside us that recognizes right and wrong and then makes a choice. It is the choice we make that brands us cruel or kind.

    We do *not* all have our own truths. Truth is truth no matter who we are. There is no truth that justifies molesting children. None. Individuals who do so have twisted themselves and more often than not never find their way back to sanity – that is the truth that we all have to deal with.

    You are correct that our children are not always taught the things you mention – it is rarely out of malice, however. It is a sense of protection. The world will teach our children these lessons all too soon – we protect them for as long as we are able so they can grow strong enough to bear the burdens of life. When each of these crises come along, our children come back to us to ask advice they are finally willing to listen to. These are the moments we get to continue the job of parenting by teaching as best we can the lessons of how to cope with things the children felt could never touch them – often because when they reach the age we need to tell them, they no longer listen to us.

    If we have built the bonds of love between us strong enough, they will return… and be grateful for the opportunity to listen, as we will be grateful for the opportunities to teach.

    Some lessons – like sex – are too precious to be taught in excruciating detail. These are lessons of joy best learned by the tender joys of self discovery when shared by two who are truly in love. Telling all before hand takes all the magic and wonderment out of it. If, after discovering the joy on their own, they want to improve – well, that’s a different conversation entirely that can be had.

    At the end – your last two sentences renew hope that all is well. I pray that is the case. But if not – you have my number.

    I am family.

    I will talk to you.

    Even though I’ve never had the honor of meeting you, I still love you.


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