A Shrimp On the Barbie

Posted on July 29, 2026 by TheJessicaness

The title comes from a 1980s Australian ad to invite American tourists to the country. A 1990 film inspired by the catchphrase was a local box office failure because real Aussies call them prawns. The phrase was also used in a scene of Dumb and Dumber in 1994. This will also play a role in tonight’s dinner, but more on that later. Caleb will raise his hand so we can be with the first half of divers to explore Crack-A-Jack, a standalone coral formation (a bommie). This one starts at 16ft below the surface and continues down over 120ft to the ocean floor.

Another bommie was discovered in 2020, a coral “skyscraper” that stands a third of a mile high, making it taller than the Empire State Building. It is the first of its size to be found in the region in over 120 years. Recreational divers aren’t allowed because the peak sits at 131ft, which would only allow an eight-minute visit, so it’s explored by robots from the Schmidt Ocean Institute instead. We see a blue linckia starfish, a pustulose wart slug, an olive sea snake, five-lined ribbon worms, two lionfish, banded ribbon worms, and an unidentified shrimp. I averaged 40ft and only stayed 32 minutes.

I follow the line up, and a cute pipefish is swimming near the rope. Caleb lets go and makes his way to the boat, so I think I can do the same. I have to grab the line again to avoid being rescued when the current carries me past the steps. I finish pulling myself in and am glad I conserved energy for the return. Caleb is done diving, so I skip the opportunity to see stonefish on the next dive and start cleaning our gear while he rests. Tonje, Becky, and I take the 130pm tour of the engineering space with Guido. He has everything off, just in case, and has the only room with a grab bar so he doesn’t get burnt.

Emma shares some Violet Crumble (with peanut butter!) I start to bring our semi-dry gear down as others hang theirs up. It’s a good thing I secured anything that wasn’t tied down, as others weren’t so lucky. When the boat moved, I thought someone aimed something from above into the trash can next to us, where a few divers were having snacks and drinks with our conversation. The crew told me to leave the lid on the wet deck, and when word spread, people could grab what was left of the stuff they left to dry. Crew members take turns on the grill and passing out shrimp and champagne.

Trevor is eventually coaxed from the pilot house to play a few songs on guitar with Helen accompanying on drums while we all wait for dinner to finish. We sing along to Who the F* Is Alice, by Smokie, 1977, but replace the name with Simon. It’s definitely a crowd-friendly chorus. The variety of grilled meats, corn, and potatoes is served inside with mint jelly and a few other sauces. Dessert will be served on the couches so we can vote on best picture: DSLR, compact, and fun while the boat slides us about.

Posted in Animals, Art, Food, GoPro, Media, Music, Photography, Travel, Water | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Halfway To the Bottom

Posted on July 28, 2026 by TheJessicaness

I’m debating whether to do the first dive since we’re spending the morning at Halfway Wall. I get breakfast, even though it feels like I just ate, and sadly there are no more bananas in the fruit basket. Kerrin delivers another great dive brief, but this one with a special warning. If anything is dropped, it will be unrecoverable at this depth. I thought he meant something like 500 ft, but the wall plummets past 3,000 ft, which is deeper than any person or gear on board can go. I didn’t think I would hear his words in my head a few moments later when I jumped in the water, and my GoPro leaped off my hand and began its descent.

I plunged after it, and though I thought I had started to wave and say my goodbyes at 30ft, Caleb came flying by me at 37ft and snatched half our photos and over $250 of gear from resting in Davy Jones’s locker. I think we were both shook up as I watched his bubbles get further away, but he kept an eye on his depth and returned for a much-needed safety stop. We swim around some, but I’m sure his ears are hurting from going down so quickly, so all I can think about is returning to the boat so he can let them depressurize. His nose is a bit bloody, but 0 to 100 will do that.

We get cleaned up, Caleb switches out the SD card (just in case), and John loans us a clip with metal hooks, instead of relying on faulty Velcro. We will be buying one of these or an equivalent before we dive again. We dive the same location so we can actually get a look at the reef and fish, not just the dark blue beyond. I find an alcove out of the current, which is nice, unless doing a drift dive. I see a Drupella snail or two. It’s the most fun finding the smallest critters or their giant versions, such as the black sea hare (a giant slug I saw off the west coast of either California or Mexico).

The title of world’s largest-legged arthropod belongs to the Japanese spider crab (claw-to-claw reach up to 13ft), so no luck of seeing it on this trip, but if I go below 65ft in southern Australia I might have a chance at diving with a Tasmanian giant crab (weighing up to 39 lbs.). That’s probably what I’m thinking about when Helen takes our photo. There’s a shark in the distance and a white-spotted puffer keeping me company while I find a Valentin’s sharpnose pufferfish, a clown triggerfish, and a painted blubber-lips swimming close to the reef.

I spend some time on the sun deck as the weather is the best since we left port. Lunch brings me inside so I can describe the papaya as a watery mango. Someone at the table corrected me with a laugh. The afternoon dive opportunity comes, and though Caleb’s ears are destroyed (temporarily), I just don’t feel well enough to dive with someone else. I argued (with myself) that I would either want to be down longer than them (oh well) or I’d need to come up early from being cold and tired (and I don’t want to be on anyone’s don’t dive with list).

Maria doesn’t judge my cake intake while I read through the second half of the day. Dinner is at 6pm tonight, so that the boat can get an early start on moving through the night to return to the Great Barrier Reef. We decide to read in bed as everyone else has taken medication and retired to their rooms to avoid being tossed about the deck (expecting another 12 out of 10 night). I shouldn’t have eaten as much. The squeaking and feeling that the boat is going to fall apart doesn’t help, and I can cross getting seasick off my list. It’s easier to handle ten-foot seas on a Navy ship than it is the two-foot swell outside this catamaran.

Posted in Animals, Food, GoPro, Photography, Travel, Water | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Restaurant Style

Posted on July 27, 2026 by TheJessicaness

The boat was a rockin’ and Caleb’s toes went a knockin’ last night. We traveled from the Great Barrier Reef to Osprey Reef, over 70 miles, with a drive time of 10 to 12 hours. We’re not sure if it’s broken, but it definitely changed colors. I’m glad it’s not his big toe because we have diving to do. We are in the water at 7:20am for 54 minutes, averaging 27ft. We see black trevally, maxima clams, striped eel catfish, bulbnose unicornfish, and twinspot snapper. Before breakfast, we have time to entertain some of the other divers with stories about standing watch and bathing in the Navy.

Our next dive is a bit of a controversial one, so it was nice to find some comments from former crew and divers from Mike Ball. The employee says that the company feeding the sharks is like throwing a few crumbs to the birds (not enough to satiate them and make them dependent) and that the groups going down are respectful of the marine life. The dive brief says we’ll be sitting in a natural amphitheater to watch the show at 40-ish feet, but what disturbed me was the tank in front of me crushing coral (even if this place is used for that, perhaps like the one formation you can touch in a cave).

It’s difficult to be at all comfortable with this when divers go to see nature vs what is done in an aquarium while destroying part of what we’re trying to protect. Kerrin goes down with us after we all sign a special waiver, and Marita drives the small boat with the bucket. There was apparently a mishap as the feeding frenzy took place many meters above our heads, but it provided us with an excellent view of their silhouettes. With that done, we are free to continue exploring. I average 31ft and see banded goatfish and forcepsfish along with lingering sharks and the one cod for the other 40 minutes of our dive.

Caleb goes to lie down while I fill up on leftover key lime pie squares and coffee with cocoa and milk. I’m tired too, but it’s nice being the only person in the dining room. I don’t need lunch, but someone has to eat the pizza, pasta, wings, and watermelon. Maria suggests I make a plate for her to save for Caleb. Just as I’m debating whether I’m going to join him in slumber, Caleb is up and prepping for the next dive at Admiralty Anchor, where I see Harlequin sweetlips and mushroom coral. There are shirts and leggings, etc available for sale when we get back, so I try on two shirts to find the right size, and Caleb will get a shirt and hoodie (since I’ve been wearing his).

I brought a waterproof jacket that we bought specifically for diving (like the matching green ones with puffy liners at home) but want something soft against my skin. Getting supplied to be underwater seems easier than figuring out all the gear needed to survive the to, from, and in-between. I read, and he knits, mixed in with conversation and a ginger beer, thanks to Neil. Caleb was asleep when we had the choice between duck, fish, and risotto for dinner, and he didn’t stick around for dessert, profiteroles with ice cream, tonight either.

Posted in Animals, Food, GoPro, People, Travel, Water | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Minke Whales in Disguise

Posted on July 26, 2026 by TheJessicaness

I’m feeling hungrier this morning, so after my daily banana, I mix a few cereals into my bowl since there are so many on offer. Today’s first dive is at Pixie Gardens. Caleb had the crew switch us to nitrox (less nitrogen means more bottom time, but not as deep) to reduce my fatigue. I average 24ft for 54 minutes and see lyretail anthias, bar jack, jackknife fish, diagonal-banded sweetlips, Christmas tree worms, and a nurse shark. This site has little crevices, some we can swim up to and others we can swim through.

I’m in the dining room awaiting my next meal when I hear a guitar accompanied by singing coming from the pilot house because the door is cracked open. I step inside and congratulate Trevor, the skipper, on the song. He puts down the instrument to show me the fire cameras (engine room, kitchen, electric panel) and his tiny steering switch since a little piece broke off. We talk about his upcoming bike trip with the engineer, Guido, before another crew member comes in looking for my face. They are to have a buddy and make sure all co-workers and guests are accounted for before moving the boat. Your voice will suffice if otherwise indisposed.

Breakfast is served, and we’re not the only ones having trouble hearing. One guy asked for ear drops, not swimmers’ ear, but the wax removal kind available in the country. I take a nap, and Caleb wakes me before the dive brief call, which is announced throughout the ship via Kerrin. I notice a toe blister, and after the waterproof bandaid fails to stick, I grab a fabric bandage and hide the problem. Cod Hole is so named for the large potato grouper that appears like a pet waiting on a treat. Our group didn’t pet him either, though I wanted to; I was afraid I might accidentally get the inside of his mouth (but wasn’t worried about that with sharks).

I average 22ft and go down to 38ft. I’m swimming towards the boat after a few other divers, and the cod is magically pulling me back down towards him. I must avert my eyes and stay on mission. During the 53 minutes, we see pineapple sea cucumbers, trumpetfish, bicolor chromis, a potato grouper, and a map puffer. There are another 50 species on each dive that don’t go unnoticed, just unidentified or already mentioned. I take a hot shower to warm up and wash my face out. Upstairs, we share our injury stories and talk about other people’s kids (which is always the best).

I could get used to having my fruit pre-cut, my salads pre-made, and a soup of the day. Back in the room to relax a bit, and eventually find myself in front of a serving platter of key lime pie squares. Maria likes to surprise a guest on board by making their local dessert. That’s definitely a way to try new things. She did a great job, and the kitchen was impressed with how many I could eat, after I made sure other divers and crew had at least seen them. A rainbow came out to act as a beautiful backdrop for the snorkelers in the water watching the three minke whales circle the boat.

After that excitement, the conversation moved to prior travels and future experiences yet to be had. I don’t know why I felt surprised when we saw all the fancy camera gear, even if just the newest GoPro (Hero 13) with lights, since this is the most time and money we’ve spent on a dive trip. These people want to remember what they saw in greater detail than the Hero 8 and 10 can offer. After an Indian-themed dinner and a mini-pavlova (a local dessert), many guests are taking seasickness meds in preparation for tonight’s trip and looking through their photos. Phoebe got a picture of me with the cod.

Posted in Animals, Food, GoPro, People, Travel, Water | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Please Stay Awhile

Posted on July 25, 2026 by TheJessicaness

I grab a banana from the fruit basket. I skip the dive skin today and pull my wetsuit on over my Sharkskin that will keep me warmer, even if the sleeves bunch up. The divers’ gear is set close to each other, so it would’ve made more sense to have buddies sit every other tank so we could get ready together. It’s nice not to feel rushed, though, knowing we have just as much time at this site as everyone else regardless of when we get in the water, so I get out of the way. It takes me ten minutes to descend at Coral Kingdom, which I know isn’t a good sign, but I take my time knowing I could turn back if it becomes medically necessary.

I average 28ft for over an hour and see pickhandle barracuda, a school of humphead parrotfish, and one or two whitetip reef sharks. Caleb finds a banana nudibranch and a blackspotted puffer. It’s a great dive, one that made me unaware of how much snot was accumulating in my mask. I could’ve cleared it underwater, and I should have, but the crew offered the outdoor shower to wash my face and rid my nose of more before I climbed the steps to put my tank in its spot and initial the log sheet documenting my return. Breakfast is served, and after, Helen gives a presentation on the reef: history, preservation, and then gets me a glass of water.

I’m still coughing, so I excuse myself to grab a cough drop before returning to learn more about the flora and fauna that thrive here when the temperature is right, the water is clean, and they’re not over-fished or over-harvested. Helen tells us about a photo competition that will include three categories: compact (TG-7 and GoPro), DSLR (Nikon and Canon), and fun (a pale-spotted combtooth blenny and one yellowfin surgeonfish attempting to blend in with a group of blackfin barracuda). Our second dive is at Lighthouse Bommie. The boat provides everyone with an SMB (safety sausage) if they didn’t bring their own and a Nautilus marine rescue GPS (just in case the small boat hasn’t reached you in 15 minutes).

I’m able to descend more easily and stay around 30ft for 45 minutes watching saddleback clownfish, bluestreak cleaner wrasse, a coral grouper, butterflyfish, unicorn fish, and fusiliers (the fish, not the British infantry) until Caleb gets cold too. I see a shark during our safety stop, which is required beyond 30 to 33ft, since I went down to 43ft. Caleb agrees it’s best to conserve our energy this afternoon so that we can do the night dive. I’m just glad to have the energy to even consider it. I’m reading Into the Abyss by Carol Shaben when Amy comments about how she enjoys me laughing out loud. Simon asks what book it is, and I leave the room with the title as the description would place my humor out of context.

turtleweed
feather star

Lunch, for me, is mostly fruit, some salad, and a piece of barramundi (also known as Asian sea bass) that I pass onto Caleb after trying. I don’t finish my plate, which is unlike me on this boat as all the food is freshly prepared each day. Becky is accompanying her husband, but not diving, and spends the day cross-stitching. We overhear her ask Maria, the host, if she will be staying the length of the trip with us. She could take a small boat to Lizard Island and make her escape that way, but Maria let Becky know that she will be staying with us until we return to Cairns.

Amy shares her Snickers Pods, an Australian snack that is a specialty import to the US even though they’re headquartered in Virginia and expanding in Chicago. There are a ton of fish as Caleb and I enter the water at Challenger Bay and watch the sea turn to darkness before we are soon joined by other flashlights spotting starfish, sharks, and puffers. I reach 29ft three times as we navigate the ocean, feeling like a predator (anglerfish) and a prey (human) at the same time. The most common problems at night are running out of air, both flashlights dying, and getting trapped somewhere. This is why some dive companies use shallow areas to reduce fatality percentages.

We were down for 49 minutes, and I debated sharing part of Caleb’s video as he returned to the boat, but it almost made me seasick. It doesn’t get better onboard either, as I’m not sure he realized it was still recording. It’s probably for the best, as I cursed for the sake of my little fish friend when Caleb said I highlighted him for another fish to snack on. No fish were harmed while filming, but I also wouldn’t interrupt if they had been eaten. The wind is still blowing, so I’m quick to take off my wetsuit and get inside. Sometimes I help Caleb, but mostly that just means I’m in the way.

The crew asks that you remove your regulator so that they know to refill your tank. I’m unable to do so, whether from being sick or having wet hands. There’s a convenient bucket for each diver under the bench where I can toss boots, gloves, fins, and mask. Wetsuits get hung up on pipe pieces with metal D-rings. The cameras get their own dunk tank to get the salt off, and my computer will get washed in the shower. Dinner is Italian-style and dessert a white chocolate panacotta with ice cream. I’m in bed by 915 and stay up to finish one of the few books I have downloaded.

Posted in Animals, Books, Food, GoPro, People, Plants, Travel, Water | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment