some sexy swag

IHRSA stands for International Health, Racquet and Sportsclub Association. My professor told the class about it a couple of weeks ago and I only know one other student that planned on going for work; I went for the swag, sweat, and socializing.

Let’s back up the day a bit first… I was sleeping peacefully when in the middle of the night I was attacked by a little blind dog inviting himself to bed, then I had to pee, then I had a dream about being in a cafe falling off a cliff, then my alarm went off and I wondered where my sleep had gone; especially since I went to bed at least 30 minutes past my usual bed time.

I was thinking about what weights I would lift so my tired ass wouldn’t have to run, such as single-arm rows and overhead press, but when I got to the gym I got distracted by conversation and invited to a BBQ on Saturday (and later invited up to Monterey — there Sunday and back Monday via text) and to the treadmill I went and still improved my 5k runtime. I’m down to 29:14.

sounds vibration machine

I left happy and sweaty, took a quick shower and grabbed my green drink (spinach, banana, cauliflower, Meyer lemon, hemp and chia seeds, pine nuts, almond milk, some leftover coffee, and protein powder). I drank half on the way to school, read for 15 minutes in the car, and finished the rest before class started.

We went over the schedule since the professor wrote in the syllabus that we wouldn’t have class the day after the break, but she made a practicum and presentation due, so we will have to work them in around field trips, guest speakers, quizzes, and other assignments to complete them.

I was going to leave after class today to the convention center but my ride didn’t show to class, so I walked to my car and drove reluctantly to work because it was sprinkling, I hadn’t eaten lunch yet, and no one likes to be disappointed. I’ve known people who can’t swim because they’re landlocked, but I hadn’t met kids that couldn’t and absolutely refused to learn how to jump rope for fear they would bloody their knee… again.

Keiser Air250 Leg Press

I passed out jerseys for soccer and the kids were switching teams and complaining and wearing them around their neck, so I took the jerseys off. I was so excited when school was over and powered through some apple slices and a sandwich before parking a few blocks away from the convention center to save $20.

I got on my first LimeBike, the E version, because that’s what was available and I like the extra electric assistance. It took me four minutes and 75 cents to ride and park. The non-electric ones are free this month and I will learn that on the return ride which would’ve otherwise cost me a $1 (so better to ride the full 30 minutes).

I walked in and reluctantly passed most of the excitement before cutting in at section C, with check-in at section D. This nice lady showed me their hand/foot/both machine (the one I had seen at Planet Fitness, but 10x more awesome. It supports 600 pounds, swivels for wheelchair access, and can lock in hands or feet for amputees or even those with limited movement and the screen offers so many options.

shiny and strong kettlebells

I checked in, got my large badge, and a bag with some papers and swag and was on my way, strutting my stuff, to sweat. I went towards the back and got a free boxing session and got to keep the gloves I used from Century; I want the fancy looking ones, on sale only $24. I also asked the trainer where she worked and sadly she just moved to LA.

I tried Strong by Zumba; got my body measured by one million dots (results will be emailed to me); tried the Hedstrom Surge (an adjustable “sandbag” filled with water, from 10 to 65 lb.); stood in a sound tunnel with oxygen (too much), but you can tune it for muscle soreness, depression, diabetes, etc.

I tried the Keiser leg press with hand adjustments (between 200 and 547 resistance for me) and earned a shirt; the Canali Method, KTI (Kinetics – Techniques – Innovation) leg raise from 0-300% body weight and I was around 100%, or 9 out of 20; tried the Elevate incline row at full resistance and another station for the jump/leg press and pull-up (where a woman asked me to do some more for her pic/video).

leg extension machine, Canali System

I tried a treadmill that is more shock absorbent and could’ve stayed on longer and got into a massage chair that presses arms, feet, and shoulders and wanted to stay in that forever — there is no time limit here and everyone is happy to show you how to do it or be busy talking all over the machine. I tried a treadmill with farmers carry, sled push, and resistance pull options and another one that the belt goes both ways to simulate a parachute or sled.

I tried a variation of the Curve treadmill with StrideLab built-in and different language capability (as we found out the hard way trying to navigate the menu); got on the VersaClimber and up to 200 steps/minute (the record is 400); and tried swinging the 6 lb. RMT (rotational movement training) Club; and got the Calyana yoga mat wrapper slapper from Airex.

I got to try so much and see so much more. I’m going back tomorrow for the cryotherapy, aerial silks, a spin bike that leans, kettlebells that sparkle, Google-colored equipment, and all the free food, drinks, clothes, gear, bags, information, and conversation. I’m going to get my certification and then start working at a gym with all these workout options, or maybe I do a traveling road show.

I know there are tons of details I left out and Caleb suggested I wear a GoPro but that it would get in the way of my headstands; he knows me so well. I took my badge off for that reason and left it accessible for scanning. I left there feeling happier (ego boosts of being told I’m stronger than I look and I’m working out on the machine at max), stronger and more energized and I didn’t even try the espresso.