Ms. Piggy

I am not some cartoon character; I’m part princess, part stealthy ninja. My history remains a mystery – to my new family. There I was one day, minding my own business, when some ‘helpful’ creature had me transferred to another humid state. It was my lucky day, in Feb 2010, when some sappy, rat terrier loving volunteer approached my box of concrete and wire. She made weird noises and faces and soon I was leashed. I would have to return to finish heart-worm treatment and then I was all hers.

The first ride home I sat steadily in the front seat but I prefer to lay in the back with my feet tucked under me to keep them warm. My new mom was excited that I acted so well compared to Sparky. I began to pick up the noises he makes and apparently it’s cuter when I make them. I’m spoiled beyond reason and take advantage. I learned that my new dad likes to keep treats in his bag. He said that if I could get to them they were all mine. I will tear through plastic containers, chew on metal-tipped pens, and ruin anything else.

I like long sleeps in comfy beds with warm blankets. I absolutely detest having my teeth touched and good luck getting me outside in the rain. I finally have settled down in the bath as I learned it goes faster that way. My nails grow fast and are constantly being trimmed. I get more treats than Sparky because I’m just that cute, and quiet. I do handstands to pee, it’s a two-for-one deal. I love to work out and naturally have to pee.

Not much for waves but I am a swimming fool. I too am forced to play dress-up but enjoy wearing my jacket on cold days. Sparky told me he used to not like blankets until he was tricked into waking up in Wyoming without a fire going. My moment came when I woke up in inches of snow in the Badlands. We love to cuddle with each other and especially between our parents – that’s where it’s the warmest. I love to dig to escape somewhere or to find a cool spot to lay. I prefer to chase, when my parents run, not be chased.

I like hunting at the beach, in the woods, and in snowy fields. I’m not intimidated by size but sometimes my shadow scares me. I’m slightly visually impaired but I can smell a meal from a mile away. I love eating snow, bones, dog food, candy, tables, carpets and other items I deem necessary to continue my existence. I once popped Sparky’s favorite orange squeaky ball while he watched; it was fun. I have clean paws and a poop-mouth; at least that’s what I’m told it smells like.

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1 Response to Ms. Piggy

  1. Sheila says:

    nice story, it made me laugh


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