Picking a Bone in Bermuda

I enjoyed seeing the fort shrouded in darkness, the island at night from inside the van, and the cruise ship lit up in the harbor but I’m looking forward to seeing these things in the light. I drift off to sleep on the couch with the pillows on the floor and a red airline blanket over my feet.

I wake at 7:30 to a bright sunfilled room and the guys are still sleeping so I message the two girls that I contacted prior from Couchsurfing that I will try to meet up with here if Dean is too busy to keep me entertained (except the one who invites me forgets to send a location. I’m debating wandering off when my host invites me along on his morning walk to get some exercise on solid ground before spending a day under the sea.

We walked for about 45 minutes on part of the Railway Trail so I could admire the pastel-colored beach houses surrounded by grey or white stone walls and short leafy trees. We passed an abandoned farm field, some empty benches, and a rock formation of nature’s fortress so we wouldn’t fall from our location to the sea; which looking across its teal surface at the houses on the other side, like lost legos in a grass carpet, make me squeal with morning glee.

There’s Heydon Chapel, built in 1620, that we leave to take a wooded path that seems to be a short cut before being able to walk between the high stone walls with the street lights peeking out just above them. It’s here that I will learn more about the rail system and its pricing for first, second, and working-class passengers as well as special schedules for tourists, boats, freight, and maintenance.

Back to the house for a PBJ and cup of caffeine for breakfast and to grab Dane and Dustin to get to the morning “office” at 10:15 where they will start scrubbing the ocean off of boats with the help of their new employee. I would’ve gladly volunteered for the experience alone, but I am not sure I have the upper body strength to qualify for scrubbing salt and sea life off of fiberglass for two hours, so I will spend an hour walking through and around the Clock Tower Shopping Mall.

I like the ginger jams, but I don’t buy them — along with the purple-flowered hat that doesn’t fit, the cock-shaped bottle opener made with unpolished wood, and the bright blue Croc-looking shoes with more holes in them (their actual name is just as long: women’s slip-on open-back lace garden water clogs) that I wish I hadn’t left without. I also spend time staring at the unpurchasable — the cobbled floor and outdoor look inside, the food-ad screen over the automatic faucet, and the windowpane design that appears as if Superman stopped an incoming bullet.

I wander into the Dockyard Glassworks to see the art in its many stages, but all stations are busy and classes are later — of course they are, not that I would’ve taken one yet as I have procrastinated doing so in San Diego. I walk out of the Diamonds International shop and am lost standing in the middle of a lane when a scooter tells me to get off my phone (which I’m clearly not on) so he shouts ‘camera’ as he drives away.

I will spend another hour walking around to take pictures of the exteriors of the buildings I was just in, a peek into Snorkel Park (referred to as Fun Zone last night) which in the daytime fills with curious tourists or bored cruise ship passengers, and debating entering the National Museum (that as soon as I did the guys would be done with work). So I settle on a place with their walls and ceilings covered in flags, candles, bottles, books, and paintings to spend a few minutes glancing around.

I sample some beers at Frog & Onion but I’m not decided yet so I will try some colder treats at Alex + Pete’s Artisan Ice Cream with inspiration from fruit, alcohol, and Nutella before putting my feet in the water while talking to Dustin and the engineer working inside the boat Dean is scraping the bottom of to get an estimated time of completion, which is “not yet”.

There’s still plenty of exploring for me to do while peering at pedestrians, inspecting walkways, and staring at weathered ropes but I also don’t want to get too sunburned to enjoy the rest of the week. I imagine the stories the boats would tell to the aging architecture as I follow the giant green footsteps painted on the path leading me around parked cars and lots of bars. I’m enjoying the waves crashing and upon their retreat revealing different critters gripping the rocks and catching a meal, mostly the mollusks I’m sure, the West Indian top shell to be exact when a kid walks up.

He’s around eight to ten years old and on his seventh cruise. He lives in Virginia but drove up to New York to catch the ship. We talked a bit about crabs and tsunamis as his imagination went with what we were watching. Kids help offer such a different perspective on life, but that’s for a different post about changing the school systems and why I didn’t become a parent. I hope that kid can maintain some of his awesomeness as growing up has a way of taking that vulnerability and turning it into bitterness.

Victualling Yard, completed 1853

It’s 1:30 pm when I walk over to Calico Jack’s Floating Bar and watch a kid plunge in via plank into the marked off swimming area only to climb the ladder and jump the stairs to do it again. I sample some rum swizzle from a small stand that sells it by the bottle for $27 and I opt for the three-fruit popsicle instead before I trip on a brick. A guy passing by says I must play soccer with my fast feet (or I’m not that coordinated and still have my reflexes working efficiently).

I make it back to Frog & Onion for drinks with Mark who works in the education sector (guessing he didn’t want to bore us with the details on his vacation) and Will, our bartender. I receive a kiss on the cheek before Mark leaves at 3:30 and a picture of us for my Instagram, unknowingly, while Caleb poses for selfies on Josh’s boat and later in our car taking Fallon’s girls paddleboarding (so she can fit all the boards in her van).

I’m ready for a change of scenery so I walk back to the boat to check on the guys and meet Malcolm, the engineer from earlier, who offers to hang out when I need a ride in his busted car. I smile and thank him for the offer and walk back to Jack’s. Here I will meet Gus, the owner of Fun Golf, who buys me a margarita and a shot of Johnny Walker and gets me a slice of watermelon. It’s already after 5 pm so I decide to have another shot and a drink as I’m not driving.

Gus pays the bar tab equivalent to two months of my meager salary before accompanying me to Bone Fish Bar & Grill to have a drink and shot with Jason and his friend. We are just about to have fried avocado and a platter of seafood when Dean shows up to help himself to what he thinks is a free meal because he’s hosting me on the island. I back up as he begins to cause a scene and a girl, my new temporary friend Michelle, comes from the crowd to throw her beer on Dean and calm the issue.

We all step outside so the guys can cool their tempers, and I don’t know what came of the food, but we went back to Jack’s before returning to Bone Fish and finally leaving as the sun was setting, which enjoyably takes a long time here, for dinner at New Woody’s Restaurant where I would let the guys order while I crossed the street to get more pictures of the dimming pinks and blues as my toes dangle over the water from my stone wall seat.

I join Dean, Dane, and Dustin at the table and wonder how I managed throughout the day to get two free pairs of sunglasses as I make most of the giant fish sandwich in front of me disappear into my alcohol-lined digestive system. I pass out as soon as we get back to the house at 10 pm as I’ve had a full day of drinks and sunshine.

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I’m Going to Bermuda Beaches

Fallon gives me a ride to the airport since she’s on her way to work and Caleb is already in his vacation spot of the year (between work and hotel in Mobile, AL) so I can catch an American flight on an American holiday to one end of the island not knowing that my friend, Dean, who invited Caleb and me to stay with him lived on the other end which is about an hour’s drive at 23 mph posted speed limit along a winding road. A taxi delivery would’ve cost me at least $70.

I was the first passenger of the day through the TSA checkpoint with 30 pounds of carry-on, mostly dive gear, and while waiting in the pre-boarding area was asked if I was a gymnast while stretching in prep of living on an airplane for the day. The flight from SAN》PHX consisted of a nap sandwich with a quick photo of the sky between the bread. I had some water and a girl took my cookies that I didn’t want because I wasn’t feeling well and neither was the toilet when I finished with it.

The flight from PHX》MIA had me sitting next to a doctor from NAHEC (one of five program centers in Arizona) traveling to Haiti for his 31st time since the 7.0 magnitude earthquake hit in 2010, this time to fix a girl’s arm because he enjoys returning to help the less fortunate. After some conversation, the doctor let me nerd out on a surgical book in his possession which reminded me of when us kids, my siblings and I, would look through my stepdad’s EMT book at the steps to take to stabilize major wounds until the patient could be accommodated in the ER or operating room. I have a love/hate relationship with the gruesomeness of these people’s misfortunes and the lesson to be learned, “Don’t try this at home or work!”

I stretch in front of an exit row seat with a bag strapped in like a child (lucky bag) with an owner who thinks I’m a yoga teacher. I put my legs up separately, did some crossed-legs push-ups, and a backbend. I decide to save the headstand for the next airport in 100 minutes. I go back to my seat to read some more of a boring book I brought to put me back to sleep.

I land in Miami and get on my next plane that maybe has a third of its seats filled. MIA》BDA I don’t want the airline to charge me for upgraded seats so I don’t move up any rows but enjoy that I can stretch out in the row to myself. I do some crosswords and sudoku in a magazine and the guy across the aisle offers to take my picture “for the view,” so I indulged him since it was with my phone.

The plane is driving awhile once on land which makes it seem like the longest taxi, especially for a small island. I walk off the plane and up to a building that could be a bungalow for 80 or just two rich couples on a weekend getaway – it’s the airport at night, but the bright Bermuda blue still shines in the darkness with the sunshine white light of customs behind it.

I met Dean at the gym months ago and we found we share a love of cycling and mostly talking and being near or deep in the water while also sharing food. Tonight I get to meet his sons, Dustin and Dane, the eldest who was in the local Regiment and the younger one visiting from college in the Bay Area. I didn’t know what to expect out of the trip, except hoping for some discounted diving, and that was part of the appeal of coming to this semi-casual island.

We stop at Harbor Nights on Front Street to celebrate the fact that I showed up as I guess others have been shy to take up the offer (to save over $800 from the cheapest Airbnb to rental scooter). We walk along the weekly market as it begins to close up after 10 pm and I’m happy to get a malasada for $2 as I think it will taste like the ones in Hawaii, but I’m pleased with the new experience and flavor.

We reach one end of the market and while the guys talk with some family I take in the yellow lights against the water and listen to the new accent that surrounds me and appreciate this opportunity to explore another culture. We turn around and are about to buy two cupcakes when the baker lady hands me a pack of four for free. We walk a circle back to the car and drive to a late-night burger place, Ice Queen, so the guys can have first or second dinner.

I suppose I should’ve done better research and realized that a Wednesday on the island is like a weekend in the States. The guys were ready for a night out and I was worn down from flying but I wasn’t about to turn down their offer for entertainment. In all my years of air travel I may have bought one bottle of booze at the duty-free because it was difficult to find elsewhere; this was not one of those times so the guys were hoping that the base was open for cheap drinks since a beer here costs the same as a 6-pack in the States.

With the base closed, we drive the other half of the island to get home and I get to see the elusive tree frog around midnight (8 pm in SD). I’ve only had a 17.5 hour day and Dean wants to go for a scooter ride to show me his boat, but we end up at Fun Zone instead. The place appears to be a place to drink and dance on the beach and there is a fort in the darkness as we approach the two-story tower lit up in blue as a shelter for the rainstorm that quickly passes.

Dean orders each of us a rum swizzle, Bermuda’s national drink, made with Gosling’s Black Seal Rum, which is basically a Long Island but only with rum, to sip on via paper straws while he yells over the speaker blasting music in our faces to pass the time. I’m happy that he’s so excited and when we get back to the house at 1:30 in the morning I crash on the couch.

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IDEA World Convention 2018

I had trouble sleeping the night before and was up at 5 am to ensure a timely arrival for the Rookie Rumble at IDEA World Convention being held at the San Diego Convention Center (along with the RBC in halls A-C) and the Manchester Grand Hyatt, floors 1-3, where I got to get elbow-to-elbow and hip-to-hip with other noobs in this large professional arena. The introduction style would be led by Brett Klika, a likable   personality and CEO of SpiderFit Kids.

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read the slide

My second session on Thursday was led by Len Kravitz, a doctor with awards to prove his awesomeness and intelligence, some of which he shared with us.

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crooked picture of a crowded room

The Opening Ceremonies where people are recognized for sharing their passion with others. I sat on the floor and ate a large sandwich of protein peanut butter, tomato, egg, and goat cheese on sourdough while moving my head around the guy swinging his ass from side-to-side in front of me and blocking my view of the screen. I left early.

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view from the stairs

Seeing all the pictures the international travelers and locals took makes me feel bad that I didn’t take more. I thought I was so focused on the event, which is why I didn’t take a picture of every slide, but they wanted to share everything with their clients and followers. I too want to share what I saw and learned.

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La Croix helping hydrate the gains

Elizabeth keeping me company through the Nutrition Pavilion of the Expo where locals could exchange their name and email for a free pass and plenty of samples.

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mechanical movement

We expected more equipment in the Mechanics of Lifting and Strength Training by Michael Cunico. What we got were buddy pictures of how we hold a bar and a video of how easily an arm breaks when you do it wrong. Another networking opportunity.

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view from the second floor balcony

I appreciate the time between lectures, workshops, expo samples, workouts, and networking to take in the view and step away from the crowds.

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downtown views

When you want to park for free you’ve got to walk, cycle, scooter, ride share, and use other event timings to your advantage. It’s been a long time since I’ve put that many steps on the downtown sidewalks.

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I forgot my swimsuit

I was ready to go in, but was waiting on Deborah so we could prep for the One EPIC Night Party and reorganizing my bags to find the leaking bottle. Turns out an old friend now manages this Marilyn Monroe Spa, so I will be back for a relaxing day.

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One EPIC Night Party

Free food and I’m too full from all the free samples — Yoplait yogurt, Good Culture cottage cheese, Daiya quesadilla, chips from Quest, Barnana bites, and coffee from Chike, etc.

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Top of the Hyatt

When all the dancing starts and the cake pops are gone at the party, we head upstairs for the city view and fireworks with more quiet conversation.

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BOSU Pilates Core Power

Thank you Erika Quest for the jokes and Jessica Maurer for the moves on this incredible piece of equipment and showing this class (with two guys, one of them Jessica’s husband) how to incorporate more of a workout using both sides of the BOSU while standing, sitting, kneeling, lying prone and supine and sideways.

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Elizabeth and Kaisa

When you get to be twinsies with your role model, Kaisa Keranen of KaisaFit on Instagram, before she makes you sweat in her Signature-High-Intensity Body-Weight Training. Kaisa has a master mind and energy to motivate people to move in a way that keeps them smiling while sweating.

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selfie for Chike

I will trade a selfie for swag any day, especially when it comes in comfy blue and bright pink shirts and coffee with protein. Look for ilikechike on Instagram.

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Cassey Ho with fan

I have done Cassey Ho’s “On Fire” series on YouTube among the many others she’s posted and got the opportunity to meet her fiancé, Sam Livits, and their dog Sir George the Magnificent, but didn’t feel like waiting in another line for another photo opportunity when I’m hoping to meet her in August where there will definitely be another line.

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mini paradise

So many things going on and I take a minute to smell the fire and little plastic tree at the BlogFest buffet as I grab a bite, and not a bag, of granola.

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Padres vs Pirates

The view from the Fit Athletic Club balcony where members can take equipment out and watch on the big screen or be inside on the couch, foam roller, or window cushions and watch from the many TV’s inside. This place is fantastic and complete with hot tub,  hibiscus rose kombucha, and tiny caffeine candy.

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pre-sweat selfie with Jacob and Elizabeth

It’s always great to see familiar faces in a crowded place, whether you spent two semesters with them, sometimes shirtless, or just met them walking down the sidewalk.

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breakfast seminar calories

From the yogurt bar and large coffee pot comes bran cereal, raspberries, blueberries, banana, cottage cheese, and granola with a medium roast and soy milk. We listen to Christopher Mohr, a food doctor, about eating nutrient dense foods — it is ok to replace your nightly box of Cheez-It and wine with some canned veggies.

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k-tape party

Not only was I able to get my left knee, lower back, and right shoulder taped, I was able to return the favor to my taping partner Deborah and leave with some pink rolls and packages of pre-cut tape (about $6 each). The knee came off before I left the hotel and I painfully peeled off the rest before getting into my midnight shower.

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I won a prize!

Another class with Brett Klika, with his wife watching and daughter dancing, is a great experience in friendly competition that can be done with partners in small groups — perfect for kids during PE. We use agility ladders, beach balls, soccer cones, bodyweight, and a SKLZ weighted med ball with maximum grip and bounce back (about $40 for one).

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a princess balcony feel

Deborah decided to celebrate another successful day with dinner at Sally’s Fish House & Bar. I helped eat the rosemary bread, a more upscale version of Red Lobster biscuits, before we grabbed her car and drove to find mine by 7:30pm.

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Touch of Grey

When the blue skies turn to grey just keep on walking towards the bay and say hey to the homeless you meet along the way.

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bodies and balls

Just a bunch of fitness professionals getting in touch with all the layers of their core via balls available at tuneupfitness.com — purple Coregeous, grey Alpha, green Yoga Tune Up, and the blue Roll Model therapy pair — with guidance from Jill Miller, the creator, on proprioception, mobility, and breath mechanics.

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the view between convention center and Grand Hyatt

The organizers guessed the walking time based on the closest walls of these two buildings, but I’m ok with the extra steps and sunshine.

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set up for group photo with Alex McLean

It’s not every day you get to workout with a professional dancer and educator of TRX, Schwinn, and Strong by Zumba to name a few. He turned the adults into a room full of creative children ready to learn and share too.

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good words to live by

Grabbing a late lunch with Deborah and we stop by the market in the street. I was hoping for food, but it’s mostly positive clothing and shiny jewelry to not compete with all the open restaurants.

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poolside summertime

Finishing a productive morning with some relaxation by the pool with the baseball game in the background, another round of Pirates vs Padres, (another loss for the home team), but a win in the World Cup for Russia and Croatia.

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samples much

The California Almonds tin is my favorite because it’s reusable and a perfect portion size. I appreciate the samples, though I’m more likely to buy these foods whole to reduce my intake of additives and use of plastic packaging.

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work in progress

After a protein packed dinner of greens, beans, and sweet potato the night before from a husband who missed me while I was in convention mode and a motivated sweat session I attempted the Sleepy Side Crow; an amazing way to finish an awesome 96 hours.

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Cansun Can Diego

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Flor de Caña rum display

Up at 4 am, 300 pesos of manga gasoline and a windshield wash without getting out of the car. Drop the car off, no issue, and have father and son (after the younger is woken from sleeping in the van) drop us to our terminal. Print out pass, check bag, and we are told that gate information is released one hour prior to departure.

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We walk around for an hour. I power through a 15 minute nap, then we wait by our gate for 30 minutes before they start boarding. Caleb is randomly selected for a secondary security screening (written on his boarding pass) and tries to pawn the small bag on me. They swab his hands and pockets, have him open the bags, then they zip them up.

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There’s plenty of open seats on the plane and I ask the woman next to me if she wanted the window (that she’s not using) when I should’ve shown her all the other seats she can have (or moved with Caleb).

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We land in Los Angeles and customs is a breeze. We walk to Rolling Stone Bar for a Thai salad with chicken and dressing on the side, so they left off the wonton strips too. I got some honey mustard to go with Caleb’s fries. Walk some more, have an oatmeal raisin (both natural and golden) cookie, walk more and then stop at Engine Co. No. 28 so he can have a beer. We walk to our gate.

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We enjoy interacting with Emilio (a toddler from Sweden on his way to visit family) as he plays with the handle on our bag. I watch a grandmother approach a girl and ask her if she speaks Spanish. The girl said, “I don’t understand” and I asked about the bathroom and pointed behind me before getting on our tiny flight for the final part of our trip.

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California coastline

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Kings of Cancun

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An orange muffin with yogurt (I’m developing a habit) before driving to the dive shop around 9 to get signatures, locations, and stamps in our dive books from Lore and Ulises.

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We visited El Rey Ruins and saw lots of iguanas, learned from a guide that it rains here (we already knew that), and sweat was rolling down my shirt. The ruins are the original main street and at the end is a forest of vampires (some call them mosquitoes). On our way out of the park a little boy took it upon himself to be disobedient so I scolded him and his mother didn’t approve, but it’s not my fault her kid wants to damage something that has stood for so long without his disrespect.

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We drove back to the room and had pancakes and popcorn as a snack before getting hungry again and walking into the Ramada because I saw a sign for sandwiches. Caleb got a roast beef sandwich with Roquefort and I had Nutella on ice (it looked better while he was making the other one).

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Caleb was ready for a nap after that but I talked him into staying up until I get hungry again. I was ready to get outta the house at 6 and we walked to Wal-Mart for spinach, eggs, carrot, and cheese for dinner and overnight oats again for breakfast, but this time with cantaloupe instead of pineapple.

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Back to the room and we settle down and eat some salad. I get the bottle of Bailey’s only to find out that Finn had finished most of it. I’m glad I don’t have to worry about it, but he is one rude person. The one night his friends do the dishes is the same night where they spend hours pouring beer on the floor and spreading the mess through the house.

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We shower and I blow dry my hair, probably more so than I should have since I forget how short the back is. Bags are packed and Caleb is regretting his food choices while I laugh to tears because of timing. (“My tummy hurts.” Fart. Pinches butt cheeks to toilet.)

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