There’s a marching band inside my head,
I only want to stay in bed.
I’m up and trying, dragging lead,
If it were up to me I’d be dead.
I carry on and walk along,
I sometimes hum a happy song.
How much longer must I play along,
Before I finish this sad song.
It’s cold out here, I start to bleed,
Just a little glad I can’t feel my feet.
It trickles down as it warms my seat,
A simple sign of soon to be relief.
Goodbye today, goodbye tonight,
Even though I’ll miss the starry sight.
It was wonderful the moments when I
wasn’t sad or set a fright.
They weren’t enough, they never are,
Happiness always seemed so far.
I tried to reach and to believe
that one day I’d be free to be me.
Thank you for your concern. I assure you I’m ok and that this comes from a place of self-love, that even though I may have all these things to be grateful for not everyone has the same opportunities and I want people to appreciate what and who they have in their life for the short time we are here and to accept all the parts of themselves as I share more of myself.
If this had come from a teenage girl, we’d all be seriously considering calling the cops for a suicide intervention… please reassure us this was just a moment of angst that a lifetime of perspective can get past. Happiness is never farther away than any of the wonderful foods you enjoy every day [and describe for us incessantly], petting one of your dogs – so it will lick your face – which always brings a smile to your face, hugging your hubby [or texting silly things so he sends you emojies of joy at your thoughfulness], arguing over incredible banalities with your elders, etc, etc, etc. There are a hundred small things that make us – and you! – happy every day. Embrace them.