Spending Money and Bonding Time


Ever feel like you don’t get to spend enough time with a parent, or a certain someone, that you may be living with at the time that comes to visit you everyday for lunch? Ever feel like you have too much money in your pocket or bank account that may get spent towards something you enjoy or for a good cause; well, do I have the plan for you that will give you more time with family and less time with your money!

Plan to leave your dad’s house with enough time to go across town for fresh veggies and stop by the bank before opening the store on time – then don’t. I left 30 minutes later than I planned. Be sure you are on the phone with your husband that you haven’t seen in two months and haven’t talked to much in the last couple days. Then, get in your car with intention and as you go to leave the gated community attempt to drive your car through a gate that has only opened wide enough for a person to walk through.


At first you think nothing of it – the gate probably hit your side-view mirror…until you go to drive and something doesn’t feel right. You pull into a parking space and realize that feeling came from the tilt of your vehicle because of the flat tire you just created by tearing it on the gate. You want to freak out, but know that you have to change the tire and get to work. Maybe your dad will take care of the errands for you so you run back to tell him what happened.

You get back to your car and try to pull the spare tire from the bottom of the car with pure brute strength, then decide to look for the jack and a manual. Meanwhile, the people hired to repaint the place and a maintenance man have seen the whole thing and one comes over to ask about the gate that I left off the track making a beeping noise. I rudely told him that I had a tire to fix, a job to get to, and then I would be able to be concerned with his gate – and then realized if I’d been nicer he might have offered to help.


I didn’t know what his next plan was. I figured he was in the office with my license plate number filling out a bill. Turns out (I would find this out later) I had pissed him off so much that he had to leave the situation before losing his cool. For that I thank him. It took me longer than it should have to jack up the car because I hadn’t finished reading the manual and was only cranking it up with half the parts.

I was able to get the spare on and get to work. My dad went to talk to the maintenance guy and set him up for a response with a face I should’ve seen when my dad admitted that I was his daughter. I wanted to make the apology before work, but now it seems it was good to give him a day to cool off before making my approach. The difference a day (and a 6-pack of beer) can make in one’s perception of your ability to be kind.


Bad for business, but good for me was the lack of customers this morning. I was able to let some tears out and my dad came by for support and to tell me how his pre-apology for me went – funny. He went to Gil’s New Mexican food restaurant next door and got me delivered an extra-large portion of guacamole with chips – that may also be had with salsa. It makes for a great sympathy meal and a delicious one that I hadn’t had in weeks.

After I had hit the gate I got off the phone with the husband and he called me back an hour later to check on the condition of me, the tire, the car, and the gate. My dad would come back to the store later so that I could take my car to the shop. One of the employees was hoping for an interesting story (me fleeing the police), but it was just me adding damage to another car that Geico has swindled me out of fixing by denying blame – even if that means changing their story to fit the clients lies – not appreciated. No $30 used tires here. Lesson learned – being on the phone in a vehicle is dangerous and can ruin your day. Don’t do it!

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2 Responses to Spending Money and Bonding Time

  1. Pingback: Felting and Nalbinding | TheJessicaness

  2. Interesting life lessons here. I was nearly 50 before I finally learned to stop speeding. It was on a trip to Canada. I got a ticket on the way up and on the way back. The 2nd time really freaked me out for some reason. I had to walk around the car 10 times. It hit me to the core – I had a long conversation with myself trying to figure out what the heck I was doing.

    I couldn’t figure out what my root/core problem was. I never had – as I had never thought of speeding as a problem. But it is.

    It finally came to me why I do it – it’s because I want to get to my destination as quickly as possible.

    Having admitted to myself what the problem is, I asked myself the golden question: what was the alternative?

    Answer: I would have to spend more time in the car with my wife.

    No prob. 😉 I can do that. It was a light bulb moment. I could spend all day with my sweetheart! Oh- and NOT get a ticket jacking my car insurance through the roof? BONUS TIME! I look at driving completely differently now. I no longer see speed limit signs as something to gauge how fast I should go – I now see them as speed traps and an opportunity to thumb my nose at municipalities. I set my cruise control at 25, 35, 40… whatever the limit is. Let the other guys go around me, safe in the knowledge that my insurance will never go up.

    And for the times I’m driving by myself? I have a new friend. It’s my Ipod. I have almost my entire CD collection on it and I get to listen to all my great music! [you’d be surprised how little time I get to listen to all my musical friends] No prob. I can do that, too!

    Have a talk with the woman in the mirror. If you start late, you get there late. Sometimes, if you start early, you still get there late. Sometimes it’s your fault, sometimes it’s not. Either way, wherever you’re going, the people anticipating your arrival will be more concerned with your arriving safely than they will be with your timing.

    Save money, save brain damage, spend time with friends [real or musical]. If there’s anything our society has made it difficult to find, it’s quiet time. Here’s your opportunity.

    I understand your situation includes too MUCH quiet time at home because Caleb is gone for such long periods of time. Fighting the quiet at home is a different animal than on the road. At least on the road you can pretend he’s at home and you’re doing things in the car you would normally do whether he’s at home or not.

    I hope all the rambling helps some…


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