Tiny Excursions Under the Big Sky

family cabin and lake view

We packed up, on a Monday afternoon, for our first trip to Jake’s family cabin near Trout Creek, and brought the kids. These teens might seem doom and gloom when living in their rooms, but escaping to the countryside, where their parents were married many moons ago, reveals their fun side of swimming, fishing, sitting by the fire, playing board games (Oh Gnome You Don’t), and kayaking, etc.

trail near cabin

I spent a few afternoons reading on the porch and watching the hummingbirds eat and the Yellowish flycatchers nesting some eggs. I went paddleboarding when the wind would allow and Caleb fell in and climbed out on another dock. I did a puzzle and Jessi brought the dogs out for a day. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen the old guy (Rufus) run and he would need a week of rest to recover.

cabin outhouse

It felt great to have grass under bare feet and starry skies above, even though I wasn’t the one waiting up to see them. There’s a dirt path near a ranger’s station where you can see the guys training while some deer watch and others run like they’re being chased. Our Bayliner boat is stashed in the trees in a currently non-working condition, so Caleb will charge the battery and have a look. I’d almost forgotten we owned a watercraft.

Lyra by the fire
Missoula

I wonder if it will make it to Florida with us or if we will sell it to a nearby cabin. We got lucky having a driveway large enough to store it when we lived in California. The Sunshine State believes that boats belong on the water or stacked in storage for the monthly rent fee of an apartment in Kansas (500 sq. ft.) or Ohio (1000 sq. ft.). The tarp has been torn by the weather, so the shade is appreciated on the interior.

Millie and baseball

There’s a train track on the other side of the water and the engineer only has to honk here for passing wildlife. There’s a boat ramp down the road, which is helpful since Sam caught the only decent fish within a mile of the cabin’s dock. The kids invite us to play a game: hammer nails into a log with the claw side, in turn, until someone gets theirs in. Lyra has luck smashing hers sideways. We stay another night, our fourth, and leave early before the next guests arrive.

Glacier National Park

Saturday afternoon we walk with Jake through the open-air market stalls selling huckleberries for $120/lb. and tree bark vases that a woman collects after the wood has rotted out of the center. There are international carbs, a clown miming on the stairs, and an author signing of Aligning the Glacier’s Ghost. We will ask each other questions from the deck of Mind the Gap, a card game that spans from Boomer to Gen Z, when we get home.

Glacier National Park

On Sunday afternoon we attended a local baseball game, the PaddleHeads vs the Voyagers, without Sam. There was entertainment between each inning, kids selling raffle tickets in their uniforms, and lots of dancing by Jake to get a shirt (very white and XL). We get some Mountain Berry Bowls to tide us over while Jake bakes two rhubarb pies (one custard, one apple) and three galettes (one red tomato, one yellow, one with both).

Glacier National Park

Another afternoon, this one on Tuesday, we drive to Glacier National Park as it starts to rain. The gate has timed entry between 7a and 3p. It seems more cars are leaving as we park to hike near Lincoln Lake. I’d forgotten how much water is here as we usually come in winter when the Going-to-the-Sun Road is closed. The fog rolls in thick enough between the rock wall and the cliff that I don’t dare take a picture again until we’re on the other side of it.

Glacier National Park

Our campsite for the evening has decided to ban tent and cowboy camping due to high bear frequency and a bed for the night starts at $240, so car camping it is. We’re able to put everything in the front seat but even I don’t fit in the backseat; I can imagine Caleb’s level of discomfort. I’ll read hunched over with the light that’s left and then curl up and tuck in for sleep like a lopsided piece of luggage.

Glacier National Park

I’m grateful for the early morning light as we make our way back across the park, though many have risen before us. There is intermittent fog rising from the valley but also quickly disappearing parking availability (not all in designated spots) as a line of cars makes their way east. The sunrise is beautiful, this place is magical, and the weather is constantly changing. We left our rain gear in Missoula, forgetting that the only thing we weren’t prepared for was hail.

BSP Birdeater tarantula & Atlas moth

Luckily, there is none here, but some trail friends were treated with a shower of icy stones in the Sierras. (Yes, I’m still tracking their PCT progress daily) Returning over the pass, we are met with many a car that can’t seem to stay in their lane. People are walking on the edge of the road, causing an increase in the erosion that leads to landslides in these types of terrain. We still manage to find a beach to ourselves. 

Ismenius Tiger & Isabella’s Longwing

The line at the visitor center looks like a familiar sight in Disney, as these tourists wait for the shuttle, but with as much gear as we packed for a week. Perhaps many of them will be staying in the backcountry but the herds of kids say otherwise. A woman wants to rent bear spray, which I didn’t even know was an option, but is definitely a money-making opportunity. The gate is even worse as we pass miles of vehicles waiting to get in, with at least 300 cars allowed per two-hour window.

Postman & Owl

Thursday, we visit the Butterfly House and Insectarium, which has ants, spiders, walking sticks, and a variety of roaches, some that you can hold, but not the touchy, tantalizing tarantula. Outside there are at least 20 varieties of now-winged caterpillars and moths, such as the Attacus atlas, one of the largest in the world. We’re asked to watch our step so we don’t squish the button quail running around, adorable in their many colors.

Delores & Moose

We got to watch an employee release some fresh hatches and view some struggling to escape the cocoon – all part of their life cycle. My favorite is the Dead Leaf for its remarkable camouflage. This house doesn’t have a license for all the life stages, so they buy butterflies from farms. We stop by the free seed library for some basil and green onions among so many herbs and veggies and grab some for Jessi too.

Lady sleeping

Puddle, the guinea pig, gets time in the grass while being protected from becoming another toy for Lady. Saturday, we helped Jake and Jessi, with the kids participating, reenact their wedding and honeymoon from 20 years ago. It was great fun. While the couple went to dinner, the kids introduced us to films such as The Infernal Cauldron and Le Voyage dans La Lune from the 1900s and they tried Madeleine cookies, one of my faves.

Romanesco broccoli

Caleb goes to bed but the rest of us stay up to watch the storm roll in – clouds change color, lightning flashes before thunder, and then the winds (max 7mph) blow the rain onto the porch where we (the adults) stood huddled with our arms crossed for warmth while the kids got wet without a care.

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Melting Away in Missoula

A decision had to be made and that was to drive back to Missoula to stay with Caleb’s sister, Jessi, for two weeks while Caleb tried to stay off his feet. It’s rough on me to drive with no intention of stopping until we arrive at our destination. This has never been why I drive over choosing to fly, but Caleb was stuck between putting his foot on the dash or cramming himself in the back seat – both uncomfortable, so better to do less.

Our arrival is celebrated by kids lighting fireworks on the corner and leaving their trash behind. I spent the night connecting with other hikers I’d met on Instagram so I could continue to follow their journey. The next morning was met with half an avocado on the floor and later Lady attempted to eat a chicken from the backyard because her dog bowl and the cats’ bowls were empty.

We find more time in the mornings for coffee, sometimes even a second cup. Jake is up first to chat before work, and Jessi talks with us between her errands and medical appointments for her helpless dad, who is a mental burden to be around, which is why we won’t be seeing him on this visit. Instead, we get to hang out on the back porch and listen to the neighbors learn to mow and play the drums.

There are two kids in this house but only one of them chooses to join us for dinner and movie nights. Two afternoons are spent watching The Mirage about the fastest known time on the PCT in 2021, the World’s First Ironman in Antarctica completed in 2020, and The Honey Hunters of Nepal and their climbing abilities filmed in 2022. When you can’t be out doing great things, it helps to watch others achieving their dreams.

Denis biting Lady

The movies watched, all prison-themed, are The Shawshank Redemption (1994), Let’s Go to Prison (2006), and The Green Mile (1999) which have us up until midnight (not long after sundown around here). Caleb helps make dinner and buys groceries. He’s having no trouble being domesticated while I’m slowly losing motivation to get out of bed. Learning that the post office has royally messed up a simple change of address doesn’t help.

Jessi understands our situation, especially having to recover from a stress fracture in her hip that took way longer than she thought necessary. I agree, all injuries should only take a day or have a way for you to resume your normal life, which is why my bones take longer to heal. I find ways to move around their weakness as that’s what my generation was taught – to suck it up and carry on.

She offers to take us on errands and we always say yes, unless it’s Costco (not sure why). She got a puzzle that we spent an afternoon completing and recommended places to go where Caleb and I can watch butterflies or bison. I’m kept in the loop that my fellow hikers have summited Mount Whitney and wore all their clothes and sleeping bags to take in the views and necessary snacks. I’m glad we helped get them through the desert and wish them all the luck to get to the border.

Caleb sleeps more too as a way to get through the heat and boredom that comes from being in a space that isn’t his and isn’t easy to navigate. He sews a rip in his pants while I look up cold parks to visit. We wash the car and I get some writing done. I’ll go for a walk near dusk and find a man in a dumpster full of books, who happily hands them to me until he leaves. Jessi and I return with a stack each.

I have missed books, such is life that you must choose what or who you prefer to go without more. I brush Lady and give her treats while I cut the mats from her fur. I brush Milly, a cat with dander, who loves the loss of hair and dead skin. Then I return to read outside while I listen to the sprinkler.

Lady has chewed my chapstick, along with a bag of rice, Jessi’s hair clip, a cardboard tube, and anything else she deems a toy when she can get away with it. Caleb takes all the drinks he bought for hikers out of the car and it stresses me out as it continues to finalize a decision that I am trying to live in denial with. We are getting into a routine here, so I know it’s time to leave, even if Caleb has found a neighbor with cherry trees.

I try to change things up and take the bicycle that is offered. The hand grips are gross, and Caleb’s borrowed ride doesn’t shift gears, but we don’t make it far before that is over, too. I can’t help but be sad as I feel trapped in a twilight zone. Injuries are better managed when you can see them and have a finite plan of healing. That’s no longer an option with an aging disabled veteran.

My sister was the first call I returned. She was worried about me (finally having less phone signal than her) and wanted to share the news that though she is one year younger than I, she is now a grandma. Children don’t choose their parents, but I wonder what the world would be like if they were given the option.

Feeling exhausted, I hesitated to call anyone else and was grateful when the other end continued to ring. I had made my attempt at re-entering society and could take another break. I didn’t realize how difficult it would be for me to share the news that we are off trail, but once I shared it via text with one person, it became easier to let others know. This doesn’t mean I accept the situation, but I let Caleb know that time will come.

I had a dream that I was going to perform in the second half of a play by taking an actress’s spot. I realized I didn’t study my lines that I’d been given a week to do. Imagine my surprise when the director says that I can ad-lib, and I happily make my way to the stage, only to find that the crowd is going home during intermission because it’s getting late.

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Some Celebrate, I Cry

I had chosen to share some childhood memories before the great departure for the PCT, but they were deemed too sad for such a happy space, so they were removed. I believe this is different since these tears are for so many reasons, even if Caleb can’t understand why I’m so upset. I’m going to miss what the trail could’ve been, especially with so many good memories already.

I spent the day crying over the loss of Caleb’s dream, something he’s wanted for years and spent the last month watching me do in pieces, so we could still spend time together while one of us got to hike. He’s done with the hike and the people and the dirt roads. He’s done being in pain and feeling like an outsider, as anyone would who isn’t putting in the miles.

Caleb didn’t know that I wanted this more than I knew and wasn’t prepared to have me so sad. This will be a huge adjustment, even with all the zero days, as I had planned to poop in the woods for months and we just got out of the desert and have to leave the beautiful forest behind. I’m not ready to return to society and the reality that brings. I enjoyed having my phone on airplane mode, choosing between two outfits, and spending the day in nature.

Back with all the non-hikers, I will have to pay rent, drive to the store, and sit on a toilet. This also means a return to school, which I knew would happen, but I now feel rushed into. People will expect me to answer the phone and check my mail (which the post office still can’t figure out after two months). Their new anti-fraud system is a bit trash when the employees haven’t been properly trained.

Caleb doesn’t know what to do either as he feels overwhelmed. He doesn’t want to return to the trail this year as he feels he’s already missed so much and might just get hurt again. This affects his opinion on whether to attempt it next year when we already have travel and education plans. He doesn’t want to camp because being outside means being on your feet. He doesn’t want to burden his family but Airbnb’s cost way more when not sharing one with hikers.

We have to patch my tent pad by finding the hole in the tub in Bishop. We stop at the ER on our way out of town, way better service here, but nothing on the x-ray that requires a special shoe (not even an offer from the last one), so Caleb is given some gauze and wished good luck. He’s told to ice and elevate it, which we’ve heard before. We’ll have dinner in a Love’s parking lot before I call it a day some 400 miles from where we started.

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Day 40 – The Last Mile

There’s a bathroom near the campground and I unknowingly went the long way to get there, i.e., around the tents and yurts instead of behind the trailer. There are two sinks, two toilet rooms, and three showers, but those are behind a locked gate. I suppose hikers before us trashed this area, or other campers, but it should still be an option to pay for – a shower without the breeze blowing under the door.

pool at Grumpy Bears Retreat

I almost don’t recognize Hoochie Mama this morning as he has on all his clothes, balaclava included, to keep out the cold. He shows me his cowboy camping system – a sleeping bag with a net for the upper top half to keep the bugs away. I walk with Polish to breakfast and let everyone there see her face when I announce that they (the kitchen) are not making (pizza-size) pancakes today. They are the size of two diner plates, but only served on one.

Greg, Trailer Park and Hungry Bear, Hillbilly

The first pancake served to Lyric at 810 is the last one finished on the porch at 1030. He is one of three (Hillbilly and Kaito being the other two) to accomplish this feat. Dobby will take leftovers in a gallon bag. His mom showed up last night and plans to spend a few weeks hiking with her son. It will change his fast lone-hiker status but he seems eager to get back on the trail. I will be one of the people helping finish pancakes, as I know better than to attempt this beast.

Polish, Nightcap, Dogman

Lyric’s dad arrives and tells us that had his son been a girl his name would be Melody as his wife plays the piano. I’m not sure if she’s a professional but we all think it is as unique as he is. We take Dobby and his mom to get his hiking poles and hat that he left at the store, get distracted there (me eating freeze-dried raspberry-infused apple), and then stop the car so he can run back for them. We give them a head start, because we have to park the car, and then also walk north.

PCT in Kennedy Meadows

We make it a mile to a gate, and Caleb’s foot is bothering him, so we turn around. Caleb is ready to leave, so I suggest I can hike out when we get back, but he is done not spending time with me when we were supposed to do this trail together. I drop Howie and girlfriend, a guy with the same fox gaiters as me, and Iceman to the trailhead. I give Polish her boxes to mail and take TeaTime to the store.

view from the 395

Polish lets me know there’s a sticker from her to us at Grumpy’s. We grab it on our way out at 2pm. We stop in Big Pine to mail her postcards and then again for sandwiches from Erick Schat’s Bakkery in Bishop where we get a room for the night. I stopped in the street, with hazards on, to offer “Crackhead” a ride to the hostel, but this hiker turned us down, even though we looked like nice people.

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Day 39 – Happy Birthday Flower

view from General Store

I don’t quite feel like climbing out of the tent just yet, so I’ll wait until Caleb returns in need of the car key, to tell myself I can sleep tonight, since I didn’t very well last night, but the day is upon me so I must participate. It’s easier to rise when you have a goal or plan to get through, not as much when the sunlight is spent going back and forth between two places spaced three miles apart.

The guys are in their morning attire – coats and sandals – while they eat pancakes with their choice of M&Ms or blueberries. While I help Trailer Park finish his syrup-soaked carbs, Hillbilly lets the group know that Soccer Mom stopped by his tent last night and whispered, “Jess” and carried on when he heard, “no.” It makes sense that he would go to another two-person tent, but also, this is why phones and headlamps come with a light.

by Grumpy’s campground

We sing “Happy Birthday” to Flower and her surprised and giddy reaction is worth it. She already has a Bobo’s birthday cake oat bar waiting, but if we can do anything else to help set this day apart, then I’m in. We have decided to camp at Grumpy Bears tonight as they offer free showers and laundry to their guests, which we make full use of while Caleb sets up the tent in the distance.

I met Elf, the Italian woman who was gifted a pair of my shoes via Soccer Mom, and she is still very grateful. I drive back to the store to pick up Rachel and wait while she paints Greg’s nails. I’ll watch Beacon paint postcard-size images previously captured on her phone. She’s an artist, a climber, and a teacher, which is why she is hiking the PCT in sections. Being on the trail comes with so many opportunities for solitude and companionship.

Rachel was napping in a hammock, which is outside of the provided wifi range, so she didn’t get my message that Grumpy’s was going to bake brownies for the birthday girl. This is the reason I drove back but Flower couldn’t be found, so we took three guys back with us instead. Caleb and I walk over to TCO (Triple Crown Outfitters) with Trailer Park so he can rent a bear can.

There are free stickers (not good ones) outside along with some coloring pages and a range of nail polishes. Inside has food, clothes, gear, and a purple bandana for 2025 with the PCT map that can be used to hitch between town and trail. The years prior are on the ceiling along with their lists of popular resupply points that have grown with the crowds (way fewer people here than in NYC on NYE).

the path to sleep

I’m asked if I want to wait for the birthday girl to show or just have the brownies made and hope she gets one. They are fudgy and delicious; I will have two while the others decide on their next round of shots. I take half the brownies to Flower, we sing, and then return to Grumpy’s for live music and more shots. A local buys a few rounds to keep the party going.

Rachel gets her hair braided by the same woman after the bartender and then paints Kaito’s nails. Rapunzel lets us know the pool is locked and dirty. Hoochie Mama shows up and there are more shots ordered, beer drank, food eaten, laughs had, showers taken, and camps set up. Caleb and I will walk to our tent at dusk while Greg and Dogman answer last call.

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