Birthday Cakes

Posted on August 30, 2006 by TheJessicaness

Rainbow Brite and Cat in the Hat theme – Year 1

Thanks to my Dad for finding this picture. My Mom looks really pretty. There is a random lady in the background and some feet between the two girls in dresses attached to an invisible body and another girl hidden behind the girl in the white dress that I don’t know. In the blue and white dress is Angie Harp. My Mom will eventually give me this pan, probably in hopes that I will make it for my future baby’s birthday; though with it also came pans in the shape of a Christmas tree, Cookie Monster, and a Care Bear, so maybe she knows that I just like cake.

For this birthday I am sure I got some slobber proof toys and my first and only water-proof book. Up until this point, I am subjected to my Dad’s interest in new music which I have no problem learning to crawl and walk to. I will have fun learning how to wear and eat my food. I will love toys that make music to keep my Dad up at night and enjoy Mom reading IT by Stephen King to help me sleep. I will suffer through the chicken pox and as a get-well present, my maternal grandmother (Elaine Baker) will come to visit.

Crayola and Alf theme – Year 3

My mom likes to make cakes and I love the idea of birthdays, the presents, travels, and wisdom that come with another year. I think I have always looked forward to having more responsibility too, but now I wouldn’t mind someone else paying my bills, insurance, and taxes while I run around covered in food, dirt, or paint. No idea who the blonde is next to me.

On this day I would tear open wrapping paper containing a picnic set, puzzles, Barbies, a baby doll with disappearing milk in the bottle, and a 12-inch Alf doll.

Dinosaur theme – Year 4

Another unknown blonde at this party too; perhaps a birthday tradition.

We played some pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey and pin-the-heart-on-the-care-bear and then it was time to open gifts. This year I would receive more Barbies! I would also get six pink and yellow glass roses, a red ladybug purse and comb set, a pink Fisher-Price purse and comb set, shiny little earrings, clothes for Barbie, a bicycle with a fanny pack and a fanny pack for me, a giant marker case, a puzzle, and a drawing set. Mom made some dinosaur cookies for the kids to take home.

Cheerleader Cats theme – Year 5

In this picture is another blonde; at least this one has a name – Rachelle Murphy. Sitting on her left is a kid named Daniel. In the upper right is Janet Harnage holding her son, Andrew. I would later move to the states and remember this kid as only Andrew. It is hard to find people when you only know their first name. It was this cake idea for the blog that would make me look at the back of this photo; here I would find his last name and then find him on Facebook.

Today would bring Barbie some shampoo and a Corvette, and me some roller skates, a giant top (spin toy), paint set and bubbles, books and puzzles, and a tape player/recorder. Here I am 20 years later and this picture helped me find an old friend.

Train and Hearts theme – Year 6

Yet another blonde; I really have no idea. Notice I’m wearing the same shirt for two birthdays in a row. This is my first birthday in the United States. We are in military housing in Fort Hood, TX. Luckily for us (kids), we lived near the playground and a creek. On the right is Eric who is going to help me blow out my candles. Next to him is Jason who is wearing a book-bag. There is the blonde in the blue and white dress and next to her is Tiffany. The candles are hiding the “JESS” that Mom wrote on the cake.

The three named above would soon become my best friends and my worst enemy. They taught me more about sharing and how to fight and play hurt. We had big dogs, random cats, and a trampoline in the backyard. I would learn to ride my bike without training wheels while wearing a dress. I got introduced to Mario Bros. on Nintendo. We were able to walk to school in the morning and ride our go-cart in the afternoons.

Treasure Troll theme – Year 7

Another year at Fort Hood brought the introduction of Creepy Crawlers. We would squirt different color goo into these metal pans and then insert them into a mini-oven. After a few seconds the oven would ‘Ding!’ and our bugs were ready to release upon the world. Keeping with the theme I would get a Treasure Troll lunch box and a doll to match. We had great seats on the play-scape to watch the fireworks on the Fourth. My first-grade teacher was Mrs. McCurdy.

My Little Pony theme – Year 8

Not much of a theme but the cake matches the shirt and is spelled out using tiny bears. Eric turned 8 in January, Tiffany 7 in May, and Jason 6 in June. My birthday in August would fall on a school night which explains the lack of a party. Jason’s busted face and happiest expression in the picture still makes me laugh. It could’ve been caused by falling out of bed, wrestling on the living room carpet, or bouncing around on the trampoline; as for now, I’m not sure which.

I don’t remember the flavor of cakes prior but strawberry would be Jessica’s Birthday ritual from then on. Now that I think about it though, I wonder why I never asked for a brownie cake with German chocolate icing; a favorite of Mom and me when we used to go to the local bakery in the back of Vic’s Grocery Store while we lived in Florence, TX.

This would be an eventful year for us. This was our first farm with longhorn cattle, chickens and guinea hens, one goat, two turkeys, some stray cats, and many dogs that would come and go. We would see frogs, snakes, birds, armadillos, deer, and plenty of ticks. We now had 20 acres to play hide-and-seek on. I would get stung by wasps. Jason would get chased by cows. Tiffany would get locked in a rabbit cage by me (it was for multiple rabbits). Eric would invent creative games like Pebbles (we throw small rocks at him while he practices throwing and skipping bigger rocks at us).

Lonestar State theme – Year 10

I think by this time I had outgrown themes but Mom still had plenty of cake pans to choose from. Mom chose to celebrate my birthday and represent the state we are living in. I learned how to herd cows and gather eggs from the hens’ nests. We were introduced to my neighbors one day when my Mom burnt an acre or two trying to clean up some brush. I used to ride my bike with my dog, Peanut, by my side on a rocky, unpaved road. The irony is now there are rock quarries surrounding the area and the trucks mess up the paving that has been done since.

Sprinkle theme – Year 12

Funny, I thought I had requested strawberry cakes but the Texas shaped one looks chocolate and this one looks vanilla; I had been tricked. Happy Birthday to me. As a present of being 12, I was given the privilege to decorate my cake; I am no cake-artist. It looks like something I would have been able to accomplish eight years ago.

As of this birthday, I will have survived my first car accident with hospitalization and 5 weeks bed-rest required. I will have already owned and ‘lost’ my first dog, a Dalmatian named Lucky. I will get my second dog, Peanut, that I will teach many tricks. I will have gone to the San Diego Zoo and Mexico with my Dad. I am on the cheerleader squad, a babysitter, and have braces.

Tiffany will have broken her right arm and played one season in baseball. Jason will sign up for football just to get the jersey. Eric will have broken his upper jaw bone doing a World Wrestling Federation – WWF (now WWE) move on the trampoline. Mom will have worked for Ada’s Candy Creations and the U.S. Post Office. Barry will have worked for Isbell’s Construction Co. and began driving a Peterbilt for Clarksville Refrigerated Line.

Pink with Colors theme – Year 14

Another cake, another year. I am now in high school. I have played a baritone in 5th grade and B-flat clarinet from 6th grade through my freshman year. I will have obsessed over the 1996 summer Olympic gymnastics. I will have played on the volleyball team and will participate in the mile run for track & field. I will try dramatic reading for my drama class. I will get my braces off and my Mom will start to work as the manager of the high school cafeteria.

We will have torn down the dream log cabin and built a house to livable conditions (meaning not everything is complete). Tiffany will have tried to play the trumpet. Eric will be nicknamed the Punisher for his defensive-safety position on the football team. Jason will have tried football and instead develop an interest in arrowhead collecting.

Tigger theme – Year 16

I once had a teacher sing the Tigger Song to the class. My Dad bought me a green Disney sweater with Tigger on it when I was 12; some cartoons are meant to last. This cake was made by Joanne Shannon, The Cake Lady. She would be an employee of my Mom’s in more ways than one. I guess my Mom was too busy dealing with work and rebellious teenagers to bake it herself.

I will get this cake before I am able to buy my first car, a 1976 Chevy Nova, in November. As with all new drivers, I am excited and overly anxious for any chance to get on the road. I no longer have to ride to school with Eric and can now get a job outside of Florence.

Purple theme – Year 17

I don’t remember getting this cake. What I do remember was when Joanne made the white-chocolate-cock-cake for my Mom’s 38th birthday. I believe it was six inches of pure chocolatey goodness attached to a blue cake with a zipper and small pockets. I would be struggling with maintenance on my 1990 Cadillac, going to school and work, and driving around with my friends this year.

Celebration theme – Year 18

I am stationed in Great Lakes, IL when this cake is made for my 18th. This will be the last cake made for my birthday unless I can plan to be home on another. Cheers: to graduating high school, to finishing boot camp, and on making it safely to my 18th birthday!

At this point, I will have developed a closer relationship with my Dad. I will have graduated high school with a 3.6. I will have owned three cars. I will have gotten into some trouble with Tiffany being rebellious like other teenagers (leaving out lots of details here). I will have actually attended Sr. Prom and taken the pictures to prove it. I will have held three jobs in the food industry.

A lot has happened in the last 18 years and perhaps I will have to do this again in ten years and see what those birthdays bring. And don’t think I didn’t get things for my birthday, I know I did, I just don’t remember what exactly. I know I have gained experience, friendship, and knowledge and at this point in my life, these are more important than Barbie shampoo, though I know at the time she sure needed it.

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Dear Tiffany

Posted on May 5, 2006 by TheJessicaness

Hey Sis, happy Cinco de Mayo. From the back, you look like things are doing fine. I hope the front is the same. Did you drop most of the baby weight already? And how are the boobs? Are they staying the same size? I know Mother kept hers after having me. Just wondering. Don’t go and think that I’m all perverted and stuff.

I just found your letter today stuffed away in a pile of folders and papers in my shop. My first class says that it has been there for 3 weeks. What a dick! If I would have known it was there, you think I would have left it? Hell no! Anyways, nice pictures. The tattoo makes Bentley’s feet look big and I like the handwriting used. It’s so cute though because in his it looks like a mug shot with his hands up the way they are. He’s got a lot of hair already too.

22 days till your birthday. Can you think of anything you would like? Ask Trenton the same thing. And start thinking about one thing you might like from overseas from Greece, Rome, Italy, Spain, or Bahrain. Those are a few of the ports I will be visiting. Maybe you can look them up or something.

The safety-driving course sucked. It was a waste of 8 hours but Caleb volunteered. He needed the points on his license anyway. I’m glad I was in the plus points because I got another ticket when I went to South Carolina to visit my grama, great-great-aunt (who is 94 years old) and stopped in North Carolina to visit my friend Megan from Florida. I think I was going 76 or 79 in a 55. Anything over 20 over the speed limit is reckless driving. It’s like 5 points off your license and stays on your record for 5 years. My insurance company is going to hear about this and charge me an extra $100 a month. I sure hope not. I’ve got good rates for someone my age.

We browse the liquor store all the time looking for new things to try. But it’s usually vodka or pretty colored. Tequila rose tastes like a strawberry milkshake and then you’re drunk. If they have Sailor Jerry out here I will mosdef [most definitely] give it a try. I need a beer so bad right now. The guy in charge of me is a… I mean seriously…, but dumb when it comes to common, simple shit. I just want to punch him in the mouth.

But let’s move on to a better subject. Caleb is 20 years old. His birthday is June 24th. He has brown hair and blue eyes. He is 5’10” I think and a major dork [introvert]. Though cousin Robert says that since he wears glasses that makes him an official geek. He’s not into all the wizard video games, but we do have somewhat of the same past. I realize there is no one else who can put up with as much BS as I give him every day and still be able to say I love you and really mean it. He tries so hard sometimes and I tell him not to, but he thinks I deserve more and that makes him try even more. It’s not a bad thing, but I don’t want him to think that I’m trying to take advantage of him or don’t appreciate him enough. Know what I mean?

We have been friends since June. And we started dating on 25 Oct. ’05, which means we have hit our 6-month mark. That in itself is incredible. You know that I usually don’t last that long, maybe 2 weeks tops, though I did manage to stay with Jordan for 81 days. I figure anyone who can put up with me for that long is worth giving a try. He loves how outgoing and adventurous I am, at least when I’m with him (so he can protect me). He also enjoys the little child things I do, whether it be our noises or wanting to do some dumb shit.

I can’t wait to see Bentley in person. I was going to get him one of those painted shirts with a Bentley on it and then his name and maybe something else, but the guy said he does all the details and the car alone was like $100. And I have to buy the shirt. But I will mosdef [most definitely] be sending some more gift cards.

More about Caleb. I know I would miss him if he was gone and being away from him makes me realize how comforting it is to be able to go home to him at night. I just hope that when I go on cruise [military underway], nothing bad happens while I’m gone. I trust him enough that I’m leaving my unpaid car in his possession.

I make $600 a paycheck now. $360 of it goes toward my car loan and insurance. $70 goes toward my phone bill. That leaves me with money for Bentley, gas, cigs, and I have been putting $50 into an ATM on the boat that I will be able to use overseas [not sure I got that money back]. The money I make is the paycheck of an E-3 or seamen. Caleb is an E-5 or second-class petty officer, so that is at least a $200 raise, plus he gets like $900 for housing. He paid my part of the rent, still buys me dinner sometimes, puts gas in the car, and buys me supplies for the cruise. So he takes care of me and he is attempting the college thing, as am I.

The whole aunt thing hasn’t really hit me yet cuz I haven’t been there. I haven’t seen him, but I did save money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO. Not really, I’m with USAA and they are the cheapest because the parents have been with them for so long and I used to be on their plan. But I did get a chance to hear Bentley on the phone at Grama’s house. It’s even more hard to believe that Lil Tig is a mommy.

Trent has been able to put up with you for this long and you don’t smoke like Nana so you have a chance of being a grama too. In a way it makes me want to have a kid so they can be close in age. Even though there would be like a 2-year difference if I got pregnant today. I know that Caleb isn’t ready yet and neither am I. I think he would be a good dad, so that my kid doesn’t end up in a situation like we did, because of the mom or dad leaving, like my dad who decided he didn’t want kids. (A lil too late.)

I want to fly Tiffany [Melzer] down here when she graduates cuz the parents won’t be here till Sunday night, the 4th. I leave for deployment on Tuesday morning, the 6th [I stay behind]. I’m also going to take another trip to see Eric before I leave. Have you seen Scary Movie 4 yet? Me and some of the Marines were talking about how they should make one of old-ass movies like Jaws, ET, and Big Foot or some shit. It would be awesome, New Kids on the Block or My Little Pony gone wrong.

The last tattoo I saw of Trent’s was the big one he got on his leg. I think it made for a total of 4 or 5, depending on how you count his chest (as one or two) they are separate but he got them at the same time. I don’t have room for much of anything on the boat being pink, green, or black. I wish I had the blanket with me cuz it gets cold on some nights. But I also have 3 or 4 to choose from here. There is just no room for a blanket. I will probably bring one anyway and cram it somewhere.

Mom was just asking me that the other day. She was wondering how you were going to raise Bentley. How strict you’re going to be. I think Brad turned out ok and his dad smoked a blunt or 2 with him. He’s a daddy now. I would say the same for Elijah for he’s a Florence gang-star, and Patsy’s only flaw was missing months of school, but she still turned out fine. You will always be his mom but you have to try and stay his friend [not the parent’s job]. Don’t keep him caged like we were but have a slight interest in his activities to make sure he’s not about to go to prison for dealing [or grand theft] or that he has 5 kids by 5 different girls [more popular trend than I knew at the time]. I’m positive you will do just fine.

My last day in the Navy is 18July08 [07Jan07]. But I will probably be able to take like a month of leave before that or maybe get out early to start school. I hope that I’m able to inherit Mom’s genes when it comes to youth. She just needs a better wardrobe. I’m glad that I finally got to the end of your letter. Chow is almost over. I’m going to eat and I will finish this later.

Ok, I’m back. I had a piece of ravioli, some rice, and 3 bites of chocolate mousse cake with pink lemonade. I wanted to tell you how this underway is going. The first day I was gone Caleb got my car towed but paid the $85 to get it back. The second day, he got an APB put out on it and when he went to 7-Eleven a cop searched my car. Apparently, his friend Brandon that he was with was accused of threatening to shoot these people. Luckily, nothing else came of it. And on the third day, some guy stole his wallet. He had his military ID and ATM card in his pocket so all they got was his credit card and social security card. He was able to get them both canceled.

On the fourth day, the CTTs shot chaff (a tube of aluminum confetti). We shot 8 and I had to watch at the console for the first 4 but was able to look out the window and watch the last 4. I wasn’t allowed to take pictures because apparently it’s top secret. But it still looked cool. Then I was BSing with the captain, telling him this and that (aka kissing his ass) and he was like, “Hey Wise, come here.” He brought me over to the speaker and told me to tell the crew the same thing I just told him. So I announced that after we shot it, outside smelled like cooked food and happiness and thanked the captain for giving me that chance to have the honor of being a part of this great event. I told you it was … Sailors and marines giving me shit. I’m the only Wise on board.

One time I went to his office for him to sign something and he asked me how wise I really was. What was I supposed to say to that? I didn’t want to say too much and have it backfire, but I didn’t want to look like a … Then the XO (the 2nd in charge) said that me and Eric must have been good kids to both be able to acquire security clearances [that neither of us used after both of us got out early]. What little they really know about me and my history.

Other than that it has been about the usual. Though I have not been able to get that much sleep. I walk around looking like a damn zombie and with the migraines that I have acquired from that concussion, I am hurting. All medical will give me is more ibuprofen (horse pills) that make me nauseated cuz I hate swallowing pills.

Write back soon. I will be sending pictures soon whether it is through mail or emailing them to Mom to give to you. I will keep in touch. Thank Pat and everyone else who has helped you with Bentley. I watched my roommate raise her baby and I helped her. I know it can be a hassle sometimes, but it’s well worth it. I love you and hope to see you soon. XOXO — Jessica

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Psychology From a Teenager

Posted on March 27, 2006 by TheJessicaness

This is my first college assignment, to diagnose Jeffrey Dahmer, while stationed onboard the USS Whidbey Island. Beware going forward if you want to spare yourself some of the details of his actions.

Based on the studies of more than one hundred psychologists, psychiatrists, other doctors, and the testaments of Jeff himself this was the diagnosis that I concluded.

He was well-spoken, intelligent, and very calm when it came to dealing with his parents in his childhood or the police at 15. Most serial killers have a history of childhood abuse, head trauma, or fetal alcoholism. The only things Jeff suffered from were two or three moves to accommodate his dad’s job. His dad used to work late to avoid turmoil at the home. His mother was high-strung and her father’s alcoholism deeply affected her life.

The earliest demented memory that Jeff’s dad can remember is when they moved to a new place when Jeff was 4. He was pulling out dead animals from under the porch and Jeff loved the sounds they made. At 3 and 4 years old he used to get really bad ear and throat infections, but his parents and teachers say he was a normal, healthy child whose birth was the occasion of great joy; a happy, bubbly youngster who loved stuffed bunnies and his dog named Frisky.

His dad claims the single happiest moment of Jeff’s life had to be when they released a bird back into the wild that they had caught and nursed back to health. Between his tenth and fifteenth years, Jeff became more isolated, reluctant to change, and going to school frightened him. His dad had shyness as a child and hoped it was something Jeff would grow out of. His conversation turned into barely audible one-word responses. His fantasies began to overwhelm him. The dead in their stillness would become the primary objects of his growing sexual desire. These kinds of notions made him feel separated from all that was normal and acceptable.

He had average grades in school, played tennis, and worked on the school newspaper. His classmates considered him a loner and an alcoholic, but he did manage a prom date. His parents got a divorce when he was almost 18. Jeff was born in May of 1960. Jeff’s dad drove him to Ohio State University in the fall of 1978 where he attended one semester. He stayed drunk and flunked out. In January of 1979, Jeff joined the army and got stationed in Germany. A few years later they discharged him for alcoholism.

The offenses got worse as his alcoholism and emotional problems intensified. By incredible coincidence, in September of 1988, he paid a Laotian boy $50 to pose for some pictures. That’s all that came of it. In May of 1991, he killed that boy’s younger brother after he tried to run away and the cops intervened. Quote “–pride is my job, I do want help,” and the judge believed it. A marvelous performance by a true psychopath! He went to live with his grandma from time to time otherwise he lived in apartment 213. Both places he found to be great to perform his rituals.

He would meet a guy at a gay bar then offer him money for photos and to drink beer and watch videos afterward. If he could get them to agree he would take them back to his place. He would take pictures of every step. He would have sex with them alive, during death, and then with their dead corpse. When in court for all these murders it took two detectives taking turns reading his 160-page confession of his 13-year killing spree. The youngest of his victims was 14 and the oldest being 31. Most of his murders were between midnight and 4 am.

He would dismember the body when he was done with it and kept the genitals in formaldehyde or would clean the skin off the skull and paint it gray to look like plastic. He was sexually aroused by the heat that the freshly killed body would give off. Jeff claimed he ate their flesh because he believed that they would come alive again in him. He tried various seasonings and eating human flesh gave him an erection. Control was an all-important issue; he could not tolerate rejection or abandonment. He did not want to please his sexual partner but have oral and anal sex with them alive or dead.

He also practiced lobotomies and Satanism. He wanted to create a shrine featuring all his victim’s leftover body parts. He believed that they had special powers that would help him socially and financially. Psychologists examined him and concurred that he was manipulative, resistant, and evasive. He would masturbate in front of the skulls for gratification. They also concluded that his sexual and mental disorders prevented him from understanding the nature of his crime. His dad came to realize that all his son was — was a liar, alcoholic, thief, exhibitionist, and a molester of children. He thought of his son as a ruined soul with a conscience that had died inside.

On July of 1992, Jeff pleaded guilty but said he was insane. The jury found him guilty and sane. He knew what he was doing and told the court he was glad he had been caught. He couldn’t believe that a human could do the things he had done and caused so much pain. He was sentenced to 957 years in prison. Genetics is gaining ground over behaviorism in explaining why people become criminals and that may be the only explanation in Jeff’s case.

He wanted death for himself so he took it out on other people. Jeff felt he never had enough remorse. He had unwanted notions to do the things he did. He repeated his actions to try to gain joy or remorse, but neither came. His last month he had decided to move but couldn’t decide what to do with the bodies. He figured this was the end and began to kill sloppily. I diagnose him with a very severe case of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Due to his unwanted thoughts to kill people who recurred over and over and his actions that seem strange and unreasonable against his will to carry out such rituals in a distinct manner.

Another way to look at this was to say he was carrying out God’s work. He said he read the Bible and in some cases, Satan or another form thereof used to take over people’s soul and he lost control. Some of the guys he killed lived dangerous lives of larceny, arson, assault, rape, etc. and perhaps he felt he was cleansing the Earth. He got gratification from masturbating in front of their dead, clean skulls as a way of saying, “I win!”

His dad went to court in October to fight for his son’s brain. In Jeff’s will, he wanted to be cremated, including his brain. The courts wanted it for scientific studies, to compare his brain with normal brains and those of other serial killers. Jeff had his skull crushed in November of 1994 by a black delusional schizophrenic who believed he was the Son of God. Jeff was pronounced dead at 9:11 am. His brain was cremated in December by order of the judge.

Even if studies had been conducted, I believe the only thing they would have found would have been a more developed central core, the part of the brain that controls basic functions of all vertebrates. He was more animal in a human body.

In conclusion, my final diagnosis is that he had more distinguished mammal characteristics, believed he was doing God’s work, and had a very severe case of obsessive-compulsive disorder. His brain functioned just fine but he thought on a different level as do people who invent telephones and microchips for cars.

*I left the paper as original as possible but spelling and grammar were corrected.

*There are interviews on YouTube, a 2017 movie My Friend Dahmer, and a Wiki page about bath clubs, one of the places Jeff went to pick up guys.

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Welcome to The Whidbey

Posted on June 20, 2005 by TheJessicaness

I got to put my toes in the sand [in Virginia Beach] and watch Right On (a black band in purple suits).

I had S’mores Pop-Tarts for breakfast and got to the ship at 6:15. I was able to shine my boots, find a new belt buckle, do my hair (extremely tight), iron my uniform, and get to muster at 6:59. We had to go topside and it was a bit windy. I sleep right across from my sponsor. I thought it would be hectic, but my 1st day was awesome. Everyone is so helpful. We had to re-muster at 8 and then I met Jacob Sweeney who replaced Canady [as my sponsor] for the week since she’s going on leave.

I checked into PSD and into disbursing. I met DK3 Blake Edwards who will be in charge of my pay. I met his friend Vincent Liuzzo on smoke break. Everyone in my work center is knowledgeable I’m told and will be willing to help me if I help myself. We had a meeting upstairs that kept me till 4:30. I was in civi’s after [working] hours and WO3 [an officer] was making fun of me [for staying at work]. Lonnie called because he was in the parking lot waiting for me. The galley was closed at 6:30 when we arrived at Ft. Eustis, so I bought us sandwiches and lemonade at Charley’s.

He has community bathrooms, but a house-sized fridge. We put in Blade Trinity and I fell asleep around 10 pm. He set the alarm for 2 am. I was sitting in the freezing car. He had to be to work at 6 and didn’t know how bad traffic would be. I got to my rack at 3 and climbed in that tiny thing. I don’t have my navy tags [name badges] on [my coveralls] so PO suggested I change for check-in. I couldn’t find the iron so my back is wrinkly. I got my sheets, saw the career counselor, and the PO in charge of restriction, urinalysis, and apparently (my rack!).

I got out [of work] at 130, but have to leave in uniform to go to the store for those tags before it closes. I came back for my sweater and waited till Vinny got out. We drove to OS2 Jacobs’ house and followed them to a store to pick up a $200 game machine (Pac-Man pinball size). We helped move it into his game room and he showed us his 6’x7′ TV (projector) and all his Star Wars legos and every other game system ever invented (PS2, Xbox) with at least one game each.

After quarters [morning meeting], I went to radio [the telecommunications office] and filled out my form to get an e-mail account set up. They needed me in berthing to clean. I sponged a few lockers and cleaned out the gear locker. I took out the trash. On my way to meet Ken MacDonald, I got lost and hit my head on the way up the ladder well. I climb 4 ladder wells from Q-Deck to my berthing. I found my way to PSD to get a copy of my ID for my CO [commanding officer, Mr. Pringle].

PO Brinkerhoff took me through egress training. You have to find a way to an exit blindfolded. I made it in 1.5 minutes. He showed me how to don my EEBD [emergency escape breathing device]. Then I had to pick up some TS [top secret] items from Gonzalez. Sweeney was in CIC [Combat Information Center] and I got the code from [ET1] Keller. I got into a ship shower for the first time. The water knob is time controlled. We were supposed to have 2 GQs [general quarters drills] but only had one. I took my nap at the SLQ [-32] and Brinkerhoff made it easier when he put the slobber guard [not its proper name] over the keys.

After GQ, I got permission from Chief to help the ITs [info techs], so I went to [level] O3 with my utility jacket on, and after 2 or 3 computers had to drop it off in berthing. A truck [was] parked at the bottom of the brow and we dropped them off there. I should have stayed to help throw them away, but when I got to the ET shop Roby said I could go. I wasn’t having to be told twice. I was going to get my lifeboat assignment and leave. I saw Jacobs and asked for directions. He told me to change and meet him in his office. I watched Punk’d while he finished some paperwork.

After lunch, I was sitting on his couch looking at his filthy floor. I got to sweeping. He moved the couches, table, and carpet for me and when Cat [his wife] got home, she vacuumed. Vinny came over after he got off work. I didn’t bring my [skate] board [because I don’t own one]. A 7-year-old was telling me that I should ask to borrow someone’s. She introduced me to her dad who retires in 200 days after 20 years. I watched [Vinny] skate for 2 hours. I was cold, got bitten by bugs, and was in my own little world when a kid (actually 32 that looks 24) announced his board had rolled. I wasn’t paying attention till I felt something hit my ankle.

I woke up at 6:15 when the lights come on and got ready for my first duty day [June 5]. I was able to wear my coveralls. I helped CTT2 Matthew Saul do a PMS [planned maintenance system] on the SLQ-32. After lunch I went to the EW shop with my laptop. I found some of Saul’s CDs and burnt them onto my PC. I left to get ready for the 16-20 [4-8pm] watch with Jake. He started teaching me MOOW. I was going to go to berthing for cleaning but Brinkerhoff sent me to the fan room again. I had dusted and sponged yesterday.

I responged, but the floor kept coming up. He told me to chip the paint so while Sweeney did that I took a nap in CIC. I went to HAZMAT for the paint. They are ordering it for us. I went to CPR training. We watched a 20-minute video, listened to a 15-minute lecture, then spent 10 minutes practicing on a dummy. The instructor said I broke 2 ribs. I took the test and left. I’ll either get a qual card in 2 weeks or wait till the next class. They let me out of the office at 245 and I waited till 330 to leave so I wouldn’t have to be in uniform [as to not rub it in others’ faces that I was off work early].

I had to clean [marine] troop berthing today. Every rack needed a new bucket of water because it was so dirty. [They only join us for deployment, not in port.] We were able to make that last till lunch. I had to wait around for an M14 safety brief. I watched Saul do a spot check with EMO. We were 20 minutes late for our gun shoot, but we got in. After 3 shots my nose started to bleed. We started with 8 magazines. I only shot 6.5. We had to lay down, sit (in a F’d up position), and stand. Laying down F’d up my elbows, sitting down hurt my legs, and standing didn’t help at all [boo hoo].

Saul had given me a ride. On the way there I had looked at his 4 cases of CDs. On the way back, we listened to The Mars Volta. He use to skate and smoke, now he surfs. He has a lot of CDs from his pastors. We were in the EW shop the other day and someone told me that Sweeney is religious so when I saw a sermon in the CD player I supposed it was his. Saul went to grab it and I told him Jesus was in there. He laughed and said he’s just sitting in there.

I was standing near the POOW office and someone wanted to get by, so I stepped back. If it weren’t for the lifelines I could have died. The first 2 were metal, but the top one was rope and I grabbed it and it went down a little, just enough to scare me. I sat in the shop the rest of the night burning more CDs. Then somehow managed to lock my keys in the office and Brinkerhoff’s were hanging on the inside. I figured there are only 6-10 of those keys on this ship and 2 of them are in there. I went down to wake up Canady at 1230 am, but she was still up. Luckily for her, I would’ve woken her. I can’t get into anything without them.

I had a hairsprayed ponytail, a pink shirt from LA, black pants with a pink stripe, and green-starred (glow-in-the-dark) shoelaces in my Converse. I washed my face and teeth, then put eyeliner on my eyes and chocolate on my tongue. Brinkerhoff realized that I live on the ship. I heard it from him there are only 8 keys. The 6 CTTs, Fred [whoever that is], and someone else. The captain has no business in there. I met Vinny at 730. We went to a car show in front of Jenro’s [Coffee House] to wait for Jeff. He gets off work at 930. They decided to go to Q-Master Billiards to play pool.

They ordered food and drinks and it’s $4 a person per hour. They ran up a nice bill. We stayed till 2 when it closed. [Tuesday,] I started getting ready for watch [midnight to 4 am] and Fulton tells me I can be in utilities. I went straight to bed [after] and passed out in the heat. At 730, Canady is waking me up saying I missed quarters. She told them I was on watch and that I have urinalysis. I was on the phone with Mom, so I let Vinny talk to her. She asked if he was adventurous and his reply was that he skateboards. She told him he must be if he’s hanging out with me.

Then it was off to Star Wars 3 for $13. Yoda and R2D2 were cute. For cleaning stations, I shined the same piece of brass 3 times and started cleaning other p-ways [Navy for hallway]. Everyone was gone so I climbed into a [empty] top rack [in my uniform] and slept [for 4 hours]. I told WO3 that my stepdad was the same rank in the army as a pilot during Desert Storm. I also printed out my DC [damage control] quals. My lower back [due to my period] was really starting to bother me. I was laying on the floor with my feet in a chair. Then my heart was acting up [beating 160 bpm at rest]. I went to Chief but she told me to come back after lunch with my FSA [food service assistant] papers.

I would be working in the galley [something all new people do for 90 days]. I went outside to lay down and was controlling my breathing. I was getting [my heart rate] to slow down and Fergeson came by and slammed something down causing my heart to jump back to its racing pace. My arms were numb and I was so dizzy. When Vinny got off we went by Eugene Marks’ house and I watched his sis [Teresa] get her hair cut. We went to Uncle Louie’s [Ward’s Corner, Norfolk] for karaoke. Vinny sung a sweet song. He did better when his stage fright lessened. Me and Vinny were invited to sleep on Marks’ futon.

My 1st day in the galley I had to bring food up from decks 2 and 3 and drinks from 01. This chic kicked this guy in the nuts, so he threw her and the chair she was sitting in. Then she grabbed a knife [wtf?!] I was able to escape all morning because I had to go to the Boone Clinic for a typhoid shot, [get] blood drawn for HIV testing [done annually], and birth control pills. My second day, I spent all morning making the salad bar and then served lunch.

Blake showed up and we [Mac and I] headed to The Banque [night club]. I had to fill out a piece of paper saying I was under 21 and she [lady at the entrance] scanned my license. We played poker for charity. Once when I almost lost the dealer gave me a look. I didn’t take the extra card and won. I got to drive Blake’s car. He helped me park along the curb. I was going down the stairs at 430 am. I took the first 3 and the rest took me.

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Leaving Pensacola in May

Posted on May 31, 2005 by TheJessicaness

We didn’t get done [with graduation practice] till 2 pm. When I called the parents, Mom told me they would be at the hotel by 4, the family didn’t get in till 6. Angie gave me a ride to the hotel. We pulled up and she rolled down the passenger window with Metts’ smiling face. She kindly told Mom that she had found something of hers. Mom looked around confused and then Angie rolled down the back window. She was so happy to see me. I thanked Angie, hugged Mom, and Barry headed down the stairs.

I was escorted up to their room. The first thing on Barry’s mind was food, so we went to Monterrey’s Mexican Grill because that’s what he liked last time. We went back to the hotel to look at pictures of Jason’s girlfriend Lacy. Mom gave me a ride to base. I invited the boys to the club, but Jason is only 16, so they could’ve come back with me to hang out, but they were all tired and went to sleep. 30 minutes later I was on my way to Seville Quarter with Andre.

We got to the blinking lights and loud music. I saw [others] there. He paid my way in ($10). This guy noticed the X’s on my hands and asked if I had been drinking. My response, it’s because you’re drunk that I appear that way. He was a 2nd class in the Navy [an E-5, I was soon to be an E-2]. He wanted to dance [but] I wasn’t going there. We [Andre and me] got to the truck and I hopped into the passenger seat. He told me with too much of a demanding voice to get into the backseat. Finally, he fell asleep and I got out to wander for a while.

We got onto base at 3 am. David came running down from his room. He told me that Andre was bitching about his night. He should have known it [whatever he imagined in the backseat] wasn’t going to happen. I changed into my utilities and went to breakfast. I got to the chapel and everyone else was already there. Family got there at 830. The parents had to check out of the hotel before 11, so I sent them on their way and went to PSD. I got my [plane] tickets and my record and turned in my key.

I hopped in the truck. I remember going by all the messed up buildings on the beach due to the hurricane in Perdido Key. After that, I was spent. They told me I was face down in the sand, asleep in the truck, and passed out in the tent as soon as they set up camp. I woke up at 3 am freezing and Mom gives me a cover sheet. There was a sleeping bag next to my bed if I wouldn’t have been too tired to notice it. They had shared three 6-packs. I woke up to bugs. They were everywhere on me and kept biting. I wanted to leave ASAP. I helped clean up, then I took a shower.

I discovered more bites as the drive went on. I had a book and CD player to keep me company, but a nap was inevitable. We got to New Orleans and had to visit Bourbon St. I was sporting my Navy sweater. I witnessed a guy doing a bad fortune telling and Barry watched a guy play the blues for 10 minutes. I commented that he was better than Bob [Barry’s mom’s boyfriend]. Some guy was taking donations for Meals-on-Wheels and you got a hat in return. I went into a “fun” store, but the guys didn’t enjoy that too much (dildos and handcuffs).

I remember looking Pancho [Mom’s Boston terrier] in the eyes at 4:20. I went exploring in the bunkhouse for a little bit and I was able to find a bunch of clothes. I donated some PJs and a few extra bags. There’s so much I need to get rid of, but it’s in my blood to be a packrat. Sis called and told me her friend Melissa could give me a ride [to Leander from Florence]. I agreed and gave her $10 in gas. I gave Mouse $20 and he came back with a 24-pack.

Monday, Barry took me to DPS [Dept. of Public Safety]. All I had to do was read line 5. I got my license and registered to vote. Then we went to the mall 10 minutes before anything opened. It was about $484 for a phone, A/C adapter, earpiece, car charger, and a carrier for the phone. The manager said I had to pay a $400 down payment that I will get back in a year because I have no credit. Barry had taken me to see Eric’s recruiter (PO Harris). He called my ship and got me a sponsor [someone to answer questions and help me upon arrival].

I called and talked to [Jessica Canady], an SN [E-3], but I’ve also been talking to ET1 who works in my space. I got to see Mrs. Burrows [my 3rd grade teacher]. She’s now a coach. She told me she begged for it. Everyone is pregnant and married now. Some girls are still in college. BJ picked me up from the house and we stopped by Deanna’s house on the way to Tiffany’s. BJ left at midnight and got back at 9 am. We went to Copperas Cove and I talked to PO Lawhorn for 1.5 hours [not sure why]. He’s giving me a day’s credit [which perhaps does not count today as vacation].

We develop my pictures at Walmart and drive back to Tiffany’s. I got home at 9:10 and Mom came with me to the church in town. I was able to get ahold of a bunch of people. I got a cell phone I can’t even use at the house [due to a lack of signal]. Eric was trying to watch David Letterman and at midnight Barry warned us that 5 would come early [for what?]

I woke up to an emergency. I was out of tampons. I called Mom and she brought by the perfect ones as soon as she could. That’s why I love her [one of the many reasons], but the negative was she made me meet her at the mailbox [at the bottom of the hill] because she didn’t know Barry [who acted allergic to feminine products] knew. Mom got home [after work] and we went to Staples where the people didn’t know [anything], so we went to Best Buy and I let a cute man named Andre sell me a $300 digital camera.

Plus the $300 plane ticket I had to buy myself didn’t leave me with enough to buy a $700 laptop. They didn’t have layaway and I got turned away for credit because nobody will give me any because I don’t have any. I have to get savings and go back. I had Mom drop me off at Tiffany’s with the camera. BJ brought by Jack Daniels. He left us the bottle. It went untouched and we passed out. We made pancakes for breakfast but most of the batter went on the stove top when we tried to flip them. We met my sister and Trent [her boyfriend] at the mailbox [up the long driveway].

Sis seems happy now half the time. She had on short white shorts and a tiny pink tank. She slid off her matching shoes and put her white legs on the dash and her pink glasses on her head. We took a bunch of pictures on my disposable camera and watched Dave Chappelle. Pat [Trent’s mom] said she wanted an early night, so I called Mom. She said she was on her way to the Exxon. She didn’t even bother with directions because she didn’t want to get lost. It was a 40-minute walk with 6 turns. When I told Mom it took me just as long to walk as it did her to drive, she thought that was good.

I can make it from driveway to driveway in 30 minutes, but not like I had anything else to do. I felt weird on the way back because Sis told me that Mom had read some journals about guys in Killeen. Oops! I’m glad she reads them so I don’t have to tell her…

We got enough technology to last me a while. That’s the most I’ve spent in 2.5 years. It cost me around 3 months’ pay, but that’s because I have half of it going into taxes and savings. I’m finally canceling my AT&T program, lowering my plan on Verizon, and in another month I will be receiving the $100 a month that has been going into my GI Bill [college fund]. I also opened a CD with Armed Forces [Bank] for $500. [The lady at the bank] said my interest at the end of 5 years will be $106. The APY is 3.8%, but things change.

I’m looking forward to going to Virginia. I’ve got friends there and might get a chance to do my job. We [Barry and me] went to Union State [Bank] and I transferred Armed Forces [Bank] savings to checking. That gave me $1,200. We went to Circuit City and the lady was nice and knew what she was talking about. She found me [a laptop] that burns CDs and holds excellent memory [for] $1,100. I knew there were going to be additional fees so we went back to the bank and I withdrew $700. We got to Best Buy and I chose an HP. The computer comes with A/C adapter, headphones, and phone cord for internet.

Then I got a $100 briefcase made by Swiss Army. It came with a bunch of pockets and the ability to adjust from 4 to 5 inches. It has 10 CDs with it too. Some are in case of an accident you are able to reload those onto your computer. There’s AOL, Internet Explorer, MSN, and Yahoo [icons]. Barry brought a Netflix package home thinking he could use it without my computer. I was on the computer for hours until people were coming home and I didn’t want to clog the phone line with me being on the internet.

Aunt Lois called and I told her why she didn’t get through the first 3 times. She was happy for me but she had to talk to Mom. She started talking to [Cousin] Alex and handed the phone to me. We talked about his stealing the mascot and leaving a treasure map. I got to talk to [Uncle] Jerry about maybe going skiing with them this 4th of July. I talked to Lois and she was peeling chicken for dinner. I can’t wait to make it to Kansas and see everyone. I haven’t seen [Cousin] Chris in 4 years. Mom gave me a ride to meet BJ at Chevron.

I had time to take pictures of the tree in black and white (just looks cool) and sepia. It’s this brown tint that makes them look old-timey as if they were taken in the 30s. BJ headed to the park. We sat in the same place as we did last time. BJ chugged his purple wine cooler and found his CDs in the trunk. We listened to the new Metallica after hearing one of their songs on the radio. I got home sober as hell and trudged up the hill grudgingly.

I told Lawhorn I would be there at 9. I ironed my uniform and ate honey butter popcorn from Gill [my Pensacola roommate]. I was in the office from 9:17, when he got there, until 2:30 when BJ picked me up. I shredded some papers, timed a kid on his PFA [Physical Fitness Assessment] requirements, and printed up divider labels on an old typewriter. Me and Peanut went in the yard to take a picture of the moon. I got to the edge of the hill and had a good view, but the moon was so far away and seemed like a pen point on my camera. It’s a picture of 3 monns smeared together.

I washed my feet and hair and put on flip-flops and Jason’s shorts. I was busy cleaning, organizing, and packing all [morning]. We got to Nana’s [in Fort Worth] after kolaches (sausage and pecan). I took a picture of me in dress whites and Nana in PJs, got Bob’s new CD, and left for the airport. I took a seat on my seabag [in Norfolk]. Someone from the Army came over wondering if my duty driver was on the way because she’d been waiting 2 hours. Longworth pulled up in his blue Mazda, 2 seats with a wide trunk.

We went to The Pizzeria [on Virginian Dr.] and after I figured I could start looking for my ship. We stopped and asked everyone for directions. We find the entry gate to the pier. My 1st impression was the greatest (I mean of the ship on me!) It looked so big and pretty standing there in the dark with only a few lights on. The CDO (an ensign) said that on my orders I don’t have to be back till the 7th [of June], but he told me to be back on Tuesday [May 31] at 7 am. I could stow my things now. I dumped my seabag under my rack and stuffed my garment bag into my locker.

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