Are We Ready Yet?

Posted on March 31, 2025 by TheJessicaness

It’s 30 days until we leave Florida, and another 24 days after that, we start the PCT. That’s the plan that has been in motion since we got our start date over five months ago. We have since packed over 600 meals and half that many protein drinks. I didn’t keep as much track of the snacks; I was just hoping to pack about 600 calories per person per day in some boxes that were too full to close, so we got bigger boxes.

We are leaving our canal-side apartment with the daily turtle, gator, deer, raccoon, rabbit, lizard, and bird sightings, as we are not allowed to sublet, and no one has offered to add their name to the lease in the meantime. This was our last time being able to use the military clause to break a lease, and moving forward, we won’t get the active military discounts, though I’m hoping veterans get deals too.

We have downsized our wardrobes and packed away half our kitchen. We’ve made our last trip to Costco depending on changes to our road trip itinerary of either a few days on the road or a few weeks. Either way, we need some elevation in our legs and lungs that we are not getting at 35 feet above sea level.. or some low Florida equivalent.

I looked into bringing a camera, and a friend gifted me a lens for my phone. I could bring a GoPro, but those batteries don’t seem to last (I only use them when I dive). I know I will take notes, whether on my phone in airplane mode, a Moleskine notebook with my name engraved on the front, or a long CVS receipt that I find in the trash of a town as we resupply.

I plan on updating my Instagram weekly, but maybe not at all. I will not be posting YouTube videos on the trail as I will not want to constantly detour for WiFi and an outlet. I’ve been told I should bring multiple battery banks and a solar charger, but I am looking forward to being off-grid (as much as this trail will allow), and I don’t need others to know how much fun I’m having for it to count.

People are still asking how we will undertake such an endeavor, and I have to remind them that there are plenty who have gone before us – those who have never hiked or camped, those that are recovering from an injury or a loss, and those that were twice our age when they started and finished. It takes some people years to complete this trail – nature and life happen, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying.

Cost is always a popular topic, but this trip – our longest – could very easily be our cheapest. We will not be paying for a place to sleep every night, we will not be driving (maintaining a vehicle) or paying for utilities (gas, electric, water, trash, sewer, etc.), and we saved thousands by freeze-drying our meals. The dehydrated ones might seem pricy at the store, but they come with a convenience tax on the trail.

I’ve had strangers tell me how much they envy my situation and friends who can’t afford the time this adventure will take, but I, too, started out with day trips and then week-long travels. The most time off Caleb has had in 21 years is a month (usually while we are moving across the country or between them). I invite those who want to come to do so or begin to follow their other dreams – life is so short.

As much as we have planned, we are already seeing changes to our schedule. Caleb will have double open carpal tunnel surgery (OCTR) two weeks before we leave, so his grip strength will return before we get on the road. Our flights have shifted, but that’s to be expected. We have our shuttles planned and our reservation at Camp Lockett. All we can do is come prepared and without expectations.

Thank you to those people who have inquired about our trip, as it helps me to think about the Pacific Crest Trail (all 2650 miles of it from Mexico to Canada via California, Oregon, and Washington) from many viewpoints and solidify decisions as to what luxuries I want to bring. We plan on averaging 20-mile days, as uphill in the heat will be slower than downhill with a breeze.

There will be “town” luxuries that we will miss, but I didn’t bring “American” necessities with me when moving overseas, as I think it lessens the experience, so I won’t focus on the warm, clean bed I have now as a sleeping bag with a bit of grit from the day, a band-aid or two to patch holes, and possibly some ants that wander in (more welcome than mosquitoes) will be the highlight of my night – after the starry sky of course.

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Sponge Docks with Aunt Lois

Posted on March 2, 2025 by TheJessicaness

Aunt Lois is on her way to the Sponge Docks at 830, so I am too. I park by Rusty Bellies, and she’s in the fenced-in parking lot for Hellas Restaurant. We start the morning with her buying a new dress from a gift shop, and then we wander into Fatty’s and talk about the owner’s dog, who the place is named after. Terry and Karley have yet to spend any time near Tarpon Springs, so they meet us for coffee and sweets at Hellas.

I try my first Freddo cappuccino (a strong iced espresso with sugar and frothed milk) and share a chocolate baklava cheesecake with my aunt. After brunch, it is time for more shopping, so the four of us walk through the Olive Oil Co, Jerky Emporium, The Spice and Tea Exchange, and part ways after Susan’s Flags & More. We’ll look at shoes while they walk back to their car so they can have a proper lunch at home while we make a reservation at Hellas.

While we wait the 30-45 minutes, we stroll over to Wine At The Docks and add our home pins to their visitors’ map. I get the text, and soon we are seated with a waiter who likes to tell jokes. The restaurant serves two-for-one deals of tea and water, at least during rush hour, which I think other eateries should take note of. After packing down our gullets, a plate of Greek salad and a gyro each, we need to trudge off some calories.

We take her car to Craig Park and watch the manatees frolic before walking down Tarpon Ave. We peruse a shop or two before we decide to find a new parking spot back at the Sponge Docks. Aunt Lois surprises me with a pair of turquoise turtle earrings, to remember her by, which I definitely will. Having moseyed for a few hours, it’s time for dessert for dinner, and Sweeties is on the menu. I chose scoops of coffee cookies & cream and blueberry cheesecake.

Our stomachs agree that we should have chosen one flavor, so it’s back to the sidewalk for more exploration and digestion. I take her to see the sponge in the shape of an alligator’s head, and she gets a turtle tracking bracelet, in keeping with our theme. I escort her back to her car to get my sauce sampler and she drops me at mine. We say our goodbyes as she’ll go back to Kansas tomorrow. I go to Capt’n Jack’s, where Fallon and Marie (her friend visiting from Temecula) are finishing their dinner.

We finish the night with three hours at Johnny’s Taphouse, where I try a peach drink while we talk about our men (theirs are both back in California) and taking a couples’ cruise in the future. I listen to a girl in the bathroom with a wet foot in her croc talk about athlete’s foot and gangrene. I can only think of the movie Idiocracy, which was delayed two years before release, surprisingly around the same time the shoes became popular.

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Strawberry Festival with Aunt Lois

Posted on February 28, 2025 by TheJessicaness

I found out back in late December, while discussing family history with Aunt Lois, that she would be down near me, northwest of the Tampa metropolitan area, for a wedding on March 1st, and she suggested we should get together. I agreed. I checked in two months later, and although pretty anxious about staying with a friend (with an amazing pool) while their daughter tied the knot, she was excited to see me.

Friday morning, I get an invite to the Strawberry Festival in Plant City. Under two hours later, the fourth out of five girls (my mom being the baby by eleven months) was standing outside my door with the biggest smile on her face. I take a selfie and post to Instagram before bringing her upstairs to say hello to Caleb (who won’t be joining us today). She would be driving us the hour east and somehow manage to get us front row parking (about five car spots from the gate).

We showed our pre-bought tickets, from Publix, and let them have a look in our bags. We were there to shop and snack, so no ride wristbands were needed. We looked at and sat on the Cyclone adjustable-height chair, which would be great if I were in want of another travel-friendly seat. We don’t make it an hour before we are trying strawberry shortcake and splitting a strawberry tiramisu.

We spent the next couple of hours looking, and very possibly buying, hot sauce, a tote bag, an outfit for her great-granddaughter, a clay oil diffuser, and pineberries (white strawberries with a pineapple taste). Aunt Lois does a handwriting personality analysis from a Televac 62000, and we agree with the results, as I’m sure others do with their horoscopes in the back of the newspaper – vague is the way.

We wander into another tent, and my attention is grabbed by a man who calls himself Hilby – The Skinny German Juggle Boy. I’ve seen some of his acts performed by others before, but they have yet to meet his level of hilarity that kept me engaged. At one point, in an effort to get more viewers, “Americans,” he said, “All you can eat at the accident!”

After he’s done making us laugh, we’ll share some thick-cut bacon with chocolate dipping sauce, under an awning. I’m grateful that Aunt Lois is more sun-cautious this time, as I have a memory of being on her boat on a lake all day and her dropping me off at Aunt Gerri’s with a lot of red skin. Next is the museum hall with a strawberry queen dress stand-in and the portraits of every Queen since 1930, minus 1942-47 when priorities were elsewhere.

Ashley Moody was elected festival queen in 1993, elected attorney general, and served from 2019 to January 2025 when she was appointed to the US Senate. There are a bunch of other facts about the festival and portraits of musicians who have played throughout the years. This event wouldn’t take place without the thousands of volunteers who continue to keep this tradition alive and showcasing the importance of proper farming techniques and involving students in the livestock shows.

There is a make-your-own strawberry shortcake buffet, but we will bypass that to sample and purchase more sauces, a hooded blanket, a hair curler, and talk to almost every vendor, even if they don’t sell the adorable boots and sandals in a size to fit our large feet. A guy puts cream on our wrinkly eye bags (that we obviously don’t have) and wants me to dry it with a fan (not wipe off the excess with my finger). We reward our now-younger-looking selves with a gourmet ice pop, a strawberry datil for me, from The Hyppo, with a location in Hyde Park Village in Tampa.

Another great vendor, cookingwithbleu, makes pasta in fun flavors like key lime curry, strawberry, espresso, and jalapeno lime. We talked with a sheriff doing a fundraiser, and when I asked about a photo-op in the backseat of the cruiser he said I could punch his partner and have it arranged. I’m not looking for a permanent position. I thought about the conversation later and wondered if anyone would see his bodycam footage.

We stayed until seating began for the Reba McEntire concert and agreed that we had not drunk enough water while the sun was up. On the return, I get to listen to her and Aunt Janet discuss plans for their summer trip to Europe. I’m excited for them. We talk about the last ten years (how long it’s been since she lost another sister and me a mom – though I know exactly where she is). Aunt Lois dropped me off at 9pm, five miles from where she picked me up, and met my friends Al, Terry, and Karley, who were with Caleb in the hot tub.

While she drove over 20 minutes back to her friend’s house, I went with this hungry bunch to Clear Sky Club Haus for a late dinner – something other than strawberries. We left around 1030, got dropped off at our place, and I walked over to theirs (Terry and Karley are currently our neighbors, which is how we met Al before he moved) to grab Caleb’s shorts, towel, and bottle. This gave me a chance to say hi to their dog, Macaroni, before his evening walk.

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A Morning By the Window

Posted on February 2, 2025 by TheJessicaness

The sky is one smooth color of blinding-white grey. The water has the slightest ripples, giving the trees and buildings reflected on its surface a blurry image. The muddy grass at the water’s edge has been topped with sand-colored gravel after a car had to be towed from its sticky grasp. There is a lively male cardinal that snacks and sings just outside our window on a fragile tree. I haven’t determined if it’s a sapling or just a branch that’s left after the two hurricanes passed through. A tiny woodpecker joins him, but no noise is involved in his search for food as a wet sawdust-like hole is already available.

The weather is nice, after dipping into the 30s, even a twenty-degree temperature difference would be kind, but we were gifted more than that. I revel in this climate before the seasonal change brings with it reasons to sweat outside and swat at my skin when I forget the bug spray. I prefer walking outside, which is another reason I will be doing so much of it this year on the PCT, but I’m also supposed to be training my legs for increased inclines that undulate for days over mountain ranges, so the treadmill calls me in while I live in a state of flat land.

Inside, we vary between using the ceiling fan above us, based on current humidity and temperature, with the sliding door open, the screen between us and the elements. I am not able to hear the gentle key tapping over the whir of the freeze dryer while it works on meals 240+ that we will have shipped to us along the way, thanks to Caleb’s sister, who has also volunteered to join us for a portion and bring me some snacks! We are nearing the end of our food prep and will soon be organizing all the bags into their proper boxes before driving them across the country.

I have started reading more articles about caring for my feet, which books to read on the trail, and the best snacks to have while Caleb fills his time with the water report, fire detours, and best resupply locations. We just learned that the shorter path into Canada is no longer an option, so we will have to backtrack a day or two after reaching the terminus to complete our trek and meet up with Uncle Ed, who has agreed to bring us back into civilization, having been a mountain man a day or two in his lengthy history.

I finished reading Robin, an interesting look into a man I grew up watching but knew so little about as his life was not mine to know. We are currently still listening to On Trails: An Exploration, which explores the footsteps of creatures from ants to elephants, while we drive or meal prep. I’m also reading my book club recommendation of You Like It Darker by an author of books that I own a few of, but only the first six of his 12 short stories and novellas, as others find it more difficult to read a book a month.

I’ve been going through old letters, some from twenty years ago, a lifetime of differences, but mostly, I’m the same person – minus hanging out with people fresh from prison or rehab. I don’t feel the need to lie about the place I live in or the friends I spend time with because my teachers, acquaintances, and mom are no longer around to judge me. Why, then, do I keep their words of best friends forever, their proclamations of unfounded love, and their childhood frustrations of relationship status. It’s because I believed them. I reached out, I remembered, I held on to the idea that somehow I’d be the one to last through the distance and decades of growth and exploration.

I’m grateful to the people I’ve met who know better than me that they didn’t plan on going anywhere except living in an imaginary white picket-fenced home with two to three beautiful children and only one loving spouse. This is more of a dream than a reality for many, and they let me move on so that I could see beyond their walls of limitations brought on by work, kids, ads, social media, neighbors, culture, society, religion, and other local-based beliefs. Caleb’s retirement used to be a mirage to us, something chased in the distance, but now that it’s here, we can revel in each other in all the ways we promised we would.

I sit here in my blue and orange Injinji toe socks, patchwork pants from Afro Caribbean Imports, and long-sleeved green shirt that says, “Donor state of mind” from OneBlood. My phone dings as Fallon takes her kids out to try a Japanese dessert place, Karley and I discuss new drinks while she’s in Orlando, Mitchell invites me to celebrate his son’s second birthday, Cheryl wants to try a new bar with live music, and Dean called, so I will have to call him back. Caleb is on the phone with Jessi now, letting her know about the change of plans for Canada, which we will need more food to accommodate.

As for the letters, I agree, some things should just be left in the past. This blog was started in 2011 and was focused on the life that Caleb and I had built together. I don’t want who I was to detract from who I am, but I also know that I will look back and not want to forget who I am now either. Some people block out painful memories and move on, others dwell in their pain through pills, booze, aggression, etc. I have edited these letters for the privacy of their writers, and yet I know they will never read them, nor do they still have the responses I so carefully penned, so where do I draw the line on how much I want to remember of people who no longer care about me.

The laughs, the wins, the lessons – that’s the answer. Hold on to what helps, and be grateful that the bad stuff can’t hurt you in the same way anymore. I’m one of the lucky few. I have been variations of homeless or unhoused, I have worn clothes from Goodwill and those found in the street, and I have eaten only Ramen or PBJs for weeks, but I have also shared so many homes with Caleb, stayed nights with family and strangers, bought expensive dive gear and shared food with those unable to get it for themselves. May we all be as lucky to find someone or something worth living for, for I know I have.

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John and Mable Ringling Museum

Posted on January 6, 2025 by TheJessicaness

On Mondays, visitors are welcome to the Museum of Art, Bayfront Gardens, and Glass Pavilion for free. Paid entry to the Circus Museum and Ca’ d’Zan is still required. It’s about an hour and a half from our place, so we figured it would be a lovely afternoon out. We waited in line to give our zip code and number in our party before going upstairs for coffee.

Caleb with coffee by Ca’ d’Zan

The Rose Garden was completed in 1913 and includes varieties that date back to 1793, even though none of the hundreds of original roses planted survive. Today, we are only met by the courting couples sculptures that were acquired in Europe and line the crushed-shell paths. Mabel’s secret garden is informal and charming, and able to provide for the lifecycle of a butterfly. I would describe the area as verdant with pops of maroon and dirty lemon against the gray bricks and marble statues.

Clockwise: Libbi Ponce, Joo Yeon Woo, Michael Vasquez, and William Pachner

John and Mable were around between 1866 and 1936, making it to the ages of 70 and 54, respectively. They chose an excellent location for their winter home, completed in 1926 after two years of construction on 56 rooms within 36,000 square feet. It’s a stunning piece of architecture from the outside, and I can appreciate leaving the interior a mystery until a later date. The reflecting pool is in a bit of disrepair, but new blue tiles are coming soon, so I’m sure that will only improve its appeal.

We are able to walk around to the back side of the mansion, Ca’ d’Zan, and take in the Sarasota Bay and wonder what types of sea vessels were parked before the elegant staircase that is currently blocked off. I’m glad that I have pictures to help with the description, or I’d be staring at Long Boat Key too, but I’d be thinking of adjectives for the blue glass, brown stone, and painted inlays that set this place apart from anything I’ve seen in Florida.

We watch a Great Blue Heron keep an eye on us for a while, and though he can grow to over five feet, he will only weigh about five pounds. I love animals in their natural environment, or making do with what they have left, and appreciate when they let me see how they survive for a bit. I think about how different species catch fish – strolling the shore, diving in, waiting patiently, and working together.

stoneware

Japanese sword guards

We enter the Museum of Art via the Searing Wing. There is a painting by Jake Fernandez, who uses interlocking, wooden bas-relief panels to portray his landscapes, which appear to shift. Carol Mickett and Robert Stackhouse are more focused on water and social change, so their art is a large-scale map of the waters of Florida. These artists are part of the Skyway 2024: A Contemporary Collaboration that celebrates recent artwork from the Tamba Bay region.

Mickalene Thomas prefers to focus on the feminist movement with her rhinestone portrait from 2009 paired with a soundtrack from 1957 based on a speech given in 1851, encapsulating an idea of womanhood and how perception of women’s rights has changed over the generations. Jake Troyli takes on the issue of commodification of Black and Brown bodies, exploring masculinity and identity. His oil on canvas shows a brown, headless, and naked body with an older man in a suit clinging in despair. We explored the tiered courtyard before making our way through the Dwarf Garden.

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