Dreams: January to May 2023

Posted on May 31, 2023 by TheJessicaness

January 1 – Caleb picks me up from a cruise ship where I’m wearing a bra and nonslip stockings. We pass a ray sanctuary and are allowed to feed them. A man rolls my ear, and I pass the test for him to use my ear and nose to play flute, which feels awesome. We leave there to explore more of Big Island, get passed by some people on horses, then we’re in the car again and come up to a snowy area, where it’s too late to see the covered barricade bars among the trees. We saw a car reversing and thought we could make it, so I’m apologizing to Caleb as I slow-mo fall into the snowy water below, as he somehow was able to hold on. I didn’t jump awake but slowly woke myself.

January 2 – A guy is coming down the hill in his wheelchair for the third time that day, and I stop him again, but this time I put his chair on its side until someone can unbuckle him. I carry him but let his legs hang for a change. We get back to the house and try a piece of candy we’re both expecting to be sweet, but it has a sour outside, and I laugh at his facial expression that probably matched mine. It can be boring and irritating to always see the world from one point of view, so it’s nice when that can change. It’s kind to try and see the world from other angles, as it makes others’ lives easier.

January 3 – I have a cast boot on my right foot, so while most of my group is eating ice cream, the line lets me cut so I can use Rentz’s large bank card for the cashier to enter manually. Also in his wallet are stencils, memories of childhood. I grab his jacket, hobble towards the full table, and find an exit door so I can eat outside after telling the guard lady that I’m in the wedding party. He’ll come outside too, only to tell me he’s torn his shirt hem, then start to run and use a skateboard that he expanded from somewhere. I yell after him that I can’t run in the boot. (Caleb said I yelled gross at some point.)

January 4 – I’m with Dan, but I’m helping clean up this woman’s garage. She has her friend offer them the hot side of a long double-barreled rifle. As I go to put something in her large pond, on the opposite, farthest side of where I should be, a giant fish, like a baby whale size, pops up and gives me the kiss of death, falls over and breaks the aquarium tank wall, spilling me, it, and all else onto this woman’s yard. It’s no wonder she didn’t want Dan and his other friend there anymore. She had tried to help him many times, but he did nothing for her.

January 5 – I get off the bus at Simmons’ or one of the Brandon’s houses and forgot to click out, so I come back and surprise Eric, (who gets a call from J. Terry as she speaks Spanish. I have to use the glass-walled bathroom upstairs, because downstairs is full of terds and paper,) by mimicking the guy blowing on fire on screen while dressed in a costume.

January 10 – I’m running to catch a train with Mom’s new husband and his teenage kids, just after their mom passed, and agree they can wait to call her mom.

A fly takes advantage of a bug stuck in a spider’s web after showing him some pictures, and the bug says they’re not compatible, so he lets him choke on it.

January 11 – I have an assignment, and some of the kids don’t want to listen to me. At one point, I yell, “You try not to be listened to, and see how it makes you feel!” We were looking at an old robe, and I found a single-string ukulele-like instrument that played a super high pitch at one point. I get back to the classroom, and the class is singing Jingle Bells like that will distract the professor. I go to the bathroom, and a girl tries to fold the glass door in half until I scream for the third time to please stop, and she finally relents.

A guy, who reminds me of Shane, shows me his eye color under his glass one, then drops it, flushes it, and tries to blame me. Caleb splashes loo water in Shane’s face and tries to fix the problem. Meanwhile, I move on to talking about baking with Dustin after getting the dust out of the pans.

January 12 – I thought I’d broken my right ulnar bone at the wrist, but I still tried to escape with a man and a cow that we rinsed some of the mud from. We try to misdirect whoever is following us, but they’ve beaten us to the end, so we’ll lock ourselves in a kitchen while the man offers a transfusion to keep the chef alive.

January 17 – I find Sparky at this mansion of a place and will take him with me, of course. Lil Rachel shows me the elevator and other fancy stuff. We stay the night after a day out in a new country, and I want to stay, but Frederick says we need to go. I’m so happy to meet up with Caleb later and show him how much weight Sparky has gained.

January 20 – Three guys from work at Auto have a dance off with three of the five members from a ’90s boy band.

January 23 – We stop to check out a historic house, Tiff and Eric beat me in there, but I’m asking someone else to help me find my phone. There’s a family that lives there with a rabbit and a kitten. They have mirrors that look like bubbled tint and white, mostly unlit, candles everywhere. The mom, Tiff’s aunt, is expecting more family, and these kids come in with their siblings in car seats while I’m doing pistol squats and trying to think of the 50 states because the mom told her son to list them before he could do something else.

January 25 – Tiff, Eric, and I find a time capsule of a place with lots of Mom’s things, like a mini pin map of some North America travels and cold beers in the freezer. Tiff was living with the parents in the bunkhouse with a handicap toilet installed.

February 4 – Sparky was there, trying to lick my face. Deanna was telling about me feeding rock stars candy as they walked down an aisle. Alejandra did not like my wet hand on her cheek. I’ve experienced love before, and I won’t lose it.

I go out to celebrate, and James from high school is talking down to this girl like a child, so I thought they were joking, but it was so she would be in proper uniform the next day. The staff brings us wrapped crackers, two drinks, and a bowl of cut-up hot dogs… wtf.

February 8 – I go out with the guys from work, a military job, and end up crashing on their couch. In the morning, I finish my drink and put my toe socks back on next to one of their girlfriends and say bye to their dog before leaving. One of the guys threw me a set of keys, and we’re trying to get out of the building before being seen by our boss. There’s a thick metal round staircase, and I’m able to catch a ride down to the elevator and make room for the guys behind me. On the elevator, a woman tries to complain to a higher-up, who says something to me about my drunk makeup and uses her finger to fix my mascara smudge. The lift stops, and this tall man with crutches gets on. Weirdly, I move to the other side to give space while the rest stay packed as a safety barrier so he doesn’t get tossed around in his bent-over position.

February 14 – We’re getting out of the car to go snorkeling, and I reach out to touch a sea turtle that bites me. It could’ve been worse, but my hand is ok, and we take off on a watery roadway to end up near some golfers. The first guy tells us the other side of the range is a good spot, but we’re not sure how to get there. We start to get lost in the village, and then I’m arguing with Tiff on which direction to go, and end up exploring a bathroom and finding orange cream lollipops in another room. Tiff wants to meet me back at the room, so I let her go, see a stretch of planes and a suitcase in a tree, museum-like. Then it’s suddenly too dark to see. I sit in the dirt to grab my phone light, and Deanna is asking me where I’m going as the room isn’t hers. I was gifted giant coral shell pieces on a necklace for holding my breath, and debated wearing it in the water.

February 15 – I’m visiting friends in England, and two guys get in a car duel of sorts. The guy in the back truck jumps into the other guy’s truck to pull him into the truck bed by his hair, and he falls past the tailgate as his long hair gets stuck in the wooden window planter shelf, as his truck goes into a shop. The neighborhood comes out to watch while one woman questions the guys together. I was eating chocolate, and my feet are sweaty. I’ll accidentally poke Jason S. in the eye, and as I giggle because we were just talking about people having their hands close but “I’m not touching you,” the girl next to me says, “I love you,” as in I love your humor and personality. I love you too.

February 27 – I’m in a fancy airport with a pre-teen, and I have to watch his mom make him cry. We look at fancy tables and grab some free cookies after he knocks them on the floor. I go to the bathroom and notice free soap and blankets. I am trying to choose, but there’s another woman in there pushing everything to the side as she tries to find something too.

March 17 – Two old ladies want to check my smelly suitcase as I leave the cafeteria. I was shoving rags in there to catch the soap or liquid that had leaked, but as they checked, my collection continued to change to more skulls, as one had said it smelled like death. I had said they could be playing Scrabble or somehow better enjoying their time, but soon grew curious as to what was happening and demanded answers. The skulls were collectibles, not dead animals.

March 26 – Three of J’s school friends are chasing Caleb and me down, first on their bikes, then we’re in cars. We open a gate to hide behind, but that doesn’t work either. We end up at one of the kids’ houses and see the daughter hug her dad a bunch. The mom offers Caleb food, a heavily loaded bean dip chip, that he eats. The dad shakes our hands and gives us a weird hug and ass grab after our conversation. We get back to the gate, and there are two vehicles on the property. A woman has called the police. I agree that we’ll wait and pay for any lawn damage.

March 30 – I hang out with both dogs, and though I give them treats, I realize they don’t need to eat. Piggy still pees on something. The class is let go for the holiday break. My coworkers assure me no overtime, so while some of them go to a lab, I’m leaving at two minutes before clock-out at 4 pm.

May 1 – We’re at an old store, and there’s an even older elevator you can try. I pass the two old ladies who seem scared, only to turn around myself after feeling like I’ve tried it before, and it just drops to the floor. I set off to find Caleb after remembering that with the time difference, we will now be late getting back, as if getting there at 2 am or close to it, and then going to work in a few hours was any better.

May 7 – I enjoy a nice swim and meet Grandma Karen on the beach. We make our way out to a diner on the water, away from the hotel room where Caleb is with the adjoining empty room and friends. Grandma’s friend is busy, but she insists that we wait. I’m starting to fall asleep, and I’m getting dry and not wanting to swim back in the dark. I try to send Caleb a message to let him know where I am. This guy asks what I do, and I tell him I sell barber supplies. Grandma says I’m looking to get into selling shoes, and he says he’d fuck a sexy biologist. I tell him I’m terrible at science, and he leaves.

May 15 – I’m chasing someone as I’m also being chased. I get stopped by the chaser, and as I’m running outside to jump the fence, I wake myself and Caleb with “What the fuck?!” The chaser wanted nothing to do with the group. I knew who was after them.

May 17 – I go outside for something with Cristal A., and she sees the tweezers in my hand as we try to run back. I think we’ve found our way, as I realize we’re near Melzer’s and ask a lady for a ride back to the main intersection. I apparently try to write this down on the first cordless home phone we had growing up and realize the battery is dead, so I “wake up” to Caleb shoving two blocks of cheese into his mouth. It looks uncomfortable, so I roll over so I don’t have to watch. (When I actually wake up, again, before 4 am, he’s taking a shower.)

May 21 – I was walking with Caleb, and he recognized a woman from a movie. He called down to her, but once we met up, he left for our room, and she wanted to show me something. She went from a white blonde to an Asian with a black bob, sitting next to her friend, same haircut, showing me the cameras of her space.

May 23 – I have to pee, so I ask for the bathroom in this massive place. I go to the room behind the dryer, as directed, but it’s small, humid, and there’s a trash can in the toilet/ashtray, and the toilet paper is gross. I think I’m sneaking upstairs, but someone else joins me. My visit is ruined because the butler, after I hit my head on a large wooden picture frame, thinks I’m too drunk to be on the second floor and insists I use another bathroom downstairs. I sneak into this girl’s room, but she doesn’t want me using hers either, so I have to climb over her crap to get out.

May 25 – I step into a python’s mouth to help a kid get out of its den.

May 29 – I’m late for my dentist appointment because I stopped for snacks, and Kristie is behind the bar.
I put half a bagel on Mom’s leg because I can’t hear her. I missed my other appointment because I was helping Deanna with something, and this guy offered me a mini-puzzle if I picked one out, but I got distracted looking at other ones.

May 31 – I wake to, “You didn’t exhale.”



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Third One’s the Charm

Posted on May 28, 2023 by TheJessicaness

delivering a radiator in the rain

Since I was last on here in January, my job situation has changed, again, but this time the position is more permanent. I went to work my shift at Dollar Tree on February 8th, did my 7.5 hour shift, drove home, then texted my manager that I was returning to leave my key in her office as the schedule I wanted didn’t align with the schedule she needed me to work, so there was no point in trying to continue to leave one job early to make it to the other.

customers providing a laugh

This gave me more hours with Advance Auto, and my boss did her best to schedule me as much as my part-time position would allow, and some overtime as we worked to get the store I was hired for open. I had been offered a job at Pep Boys that would have given me more hours and more pay, but was turned down over a corporate agreement from the East Coast when Advance Auto bought out the retail side of Pep Boys – a non-compete upheld in a state that doesn’t enforce them.

this is not an example of rockstar parking

This left me bitter, that my higher paying job had to come with disgust and my minimum wage job obviously with disregard. I may not have been as active in the workforce as my peers over the years, but this was no surprise. Cogs in the wheel aren’t allowed to rest, because then they have time to think and be happy and do things differently. I spent my off-time filling out applications for a variety of places that offer customer service interactions until I got an interview.

I left on my lunch break on Saturday and let the owner at SD Barber Supply know that I only had 30 minutes to spare. She appreciated my honesty and offered that I come in for a trial shift to see if selling supplies to professional and amateur barbers would be a good fit for me, and so that I could get some training before the other sales associate left to pursue something else. I agreed to work 11a-5p on Wednesday and it went so well that I put in my two weeks notice with Advance Auto.

when the business next door is cleaning their floors

I was going to work out the rest of my shifts, but why should I work more hours for less money when given the opportunity to reverse those numbers, so I told Advance that I wouldn’t be showing up anymore. After two weeks, of working Tuesday through Saturday at my new job, my boss at Advance Auto asked that I bring in my shirts so she could complete my termination. She had kindly waited for my travel reimbursement to go through before starting it, so I wouldn’t lose out on pay due.

part of the recall for possibly damaged cans

It was on this day that I learned someone else was leaving, but keeping the opportunity to come back and work a shift when available, so I did the same, and kept my shirts. I could use the Monday off to write and spend time with myself, one of my favorite things to do, or I could come in and stand behind a counter while Caleb sits behind a desk. I get along with everyone I work with and having the new location be so much busier keeps me energized throughout the shift.

one of the regulars

These Mondays are only temporary though, as after two months I will be moved to a Monday through Friday schedule, and I’m not sure how long that will last but I’m enjoying having weekends and holidays back to spend time on things I enjoy, and I should keep it that way. My store is split in half, with me working the barber side, and currently having part-time help; and the tattoo side that also has a driver so that supplies can be delivered to shops and offer their artists a place to get their weekly needs.

I have learned about taper and faper blades, gel vs wax vs clay, texturizing powders and color enhancements. There’s a lot that goes into hair these days — designs with different tools, dyes, jewelry, and tons of products — and most of my customers are great, even when there’s a language barrier. There are those few though that feel the need to finger the gel, sniff the powder, splash the aftershave, and attempt to cut their hair at the counter to test the sharpness of the shears.

fancy stickers on repurposed packaging

I know some people look at my job hopping as indecisiveness or perhaps a freedom to explore and I would have to agree. I would also tell my younger self to look for employment that makes me happy, where my boss respects me, and where I’m treated properly as these three jobs with women managers have taught me. One couldn’t respect my schedule, but that’s not in her job description, and she didn’t treat me differently for it. Another didn’t want to lose my skills and work ethic, and I can’t blame her for that with the current employee pool she has to search through.

I do it for the view

These women have asked me to perform tasks, have been there to listen, and given everyone a fair chance after mistakes have been made. Looking at my former employers, of the male persuasion, that was not the case. This is still a problem the military faces, especially with more trans issues and mental illness cases, than training and manning can handle. I struggled with my chain of command after suffering a concussion and instead of them working with me, they pushed me away and out of service.

welcome in

Caleb has gone from turning wrenches in the oil-filled depths at the bottom of ships to filling out paperwork that used to be reserved for police officers because they no longer get paid to appear at crime scenes unless there’s a body of proof, as if all citizens are equipped with defensive weapons, breathalyzers, or blood test kits, though it seems we might all be prepared to lift fingerprints with items found around the house. Many prior crimes are now being dismissed, but I’m not trying to go off topic, though reading some of my earlier posts… it’s what I’m known for.

Anyway, props to Caleb for being able to manage a changing workforce as it’s being imposed from the government and civilian sectors. Twenty years is a long time, unless you live to be a three-hundred year old tree, and the only way to know what it’s like is to live through it. I can’t imagine having the same job for that long, but that’s probably because my parents and grandparents couldn’t do the same. We’re not afraid of commitment, but we appreciate the challenge that comes along with learning new things and the ability to leave when the situation changes.

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Lack of Lyrid

Posted on April 22, 2023 by TheJessicaness

Dreams about going places are always nice to wake up to. I’ll turn the water heater down again as the warmer weather makes the morning more inviting and the evening less painful – going from warm clothes to a cold bed. Caleb will make us breakfast, and then we will go on a two-mile morning walk before I go to work at San Diego Tattoo Supply on a Saturday.

I’ve only got to be there 9am – 3pm. Jacob, the tattoo artist from South Carolina, looking for a job, says he’ll fill out an application even though I tell him he won’t get hired. The owners prefer someone who is going to stick around, and they can’t pay artists’ rates. Caleb is preparing for a night of camping to see the Lyrid meteor shower when I get home.

We go to dinner at Thai Thai in Santee. I eat mango and sticky rice and get my spicy fried rice to-go. A family comes in and asks what the spiciest food is, just to order a 3 out of 10 on the heat scale. Restaurants like this are few, for our neighborhoods, and I’m grateful that for the last decade we have been less than ten miles from a papaya salad and a variety of curries.

With bellies full, we make the drive to Cibbets Flat Campgrounds, a place that gets surprisingly busy during the PCT hike season; something we hadn’t dealt with in our previous visits here. The park is packed with families, groups of friends, trail magic providers, and the thru-hikers for the night. We drove through once and parked in an empty spot; some sites have two, and we watched the carpenter ants crawl over pebbles and twigs that resembled stones and logs to them.

Caleb puts his feet in the cool stream that is rushing by. We know all the campsites are full, and we don’t qualify to camp in the large group, which will definitely take some getting used to when our time comes. We set up our chairs in the middle of the empty field between the sites and next to the vault toilets. In a whiny voice, we hear, “I need some tacos,” as a guy coming from the dusty trail sees the group of other hikers.

We nicknamed the guy Bitch Taco and I wondered what my trail name would be. Watching the sunset was easy, but dealing with the blinding headlamps, phone lights, and smoky to bright campfires that kept our eyes adjusting to the sky was too much to endure. Once Caleb has finished his hot cocoa, we move to the other end of the park and sit near the roadside.

We’re ok looking up for a bit, but when we realize we still have another hour before the meteors become noticeable and then the hour drive home, we decide to not stick around. There’s a part where the trail crosses the road, but there were already tents there. We’ve gotten so used to our solitude that the idea of hiking on a crowded trail, even for a day, was still in our future. I kill four mosquitoes and escape without a bite.

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Flower Fields of Carlsbad

Posted on April 16, 2023 by TheJessicaness

Deanna, a best friend from grade school, is in Southern California but on her way to a Dodgers game three hours north, on a good traffic day. We decided to visit The Flower Fields, but if you’re not careful and skip “The”, Google Maps will direct you to an apartment complex six miles away instead.

It was a great way to spend the afternoon, but any photographer could spend a day or two capturing the different colorful angles, watching the lighting change, the bugs as they come and go, and the couples and families smiling with an array of bright blooms behind them. There’s something magical about seeing yellow varieties of Chinese peony, African marigold, and California poppy living as neighbors.

Albert Ecke and his family emigrated from Germany in 1900 and started growing poinsettias in Los Angeles. In 1919, his second son, Paul, took over the family business. In 1920, he was shipping large quantities across the country. In 1923, the farm was relocated to Carlsbad. In 1963, under Paul Jr., the poinsettias were able to grow as potted plants and became a living symbol of the holiday season.

In 1992, Paul III took over the industry before he was 40 after obtaining a degree in horticulture and an MBA after several years in production management. Nearly 120 million poinsettia pots are sold each year, in the US alone, but this wasn’t enough to maintain the family business, which was bought out by an international company in 2012.

We cover a few miles on foot and reward ourselves with popcorn and strawberry lemonade on this gray sky day, which doesn’t diminish the abundance of petals and poses on this 50-acre property. There is also an American flag of almost 19,000 petunias to maintain the dimensions established in 1959 via an executive order after Hawaii became the 50th state.

I average about one hundred photos an hour, favoring the pink poppy anemone, before we make the drive to Balboa ER. Caleb gets a chest x-ray to confirm a sprained rib, caused by repetitive strain, that can cause pain along with difficulty breathing. He is sent home with an incentive spirometer (an inhalation exerciser) and some lidocaine patches.

We park down the street from Salud! and after tacos, we stop at Art Hub, a shared space for displaying and selling creations on paper, glass, clay, metal, wood, cotton, etc. We pick up root beer and ice cream on the way home and finish the day with a book in bed.

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My Today

Posted on January 11, 2023 by TheJessicaness

drive to work

Though there may be things in my life that I don’t feel like writing about because I know I won’t want to look back on them, by me ignoring my blog completely I’m giving up on any chance to look back on the good. So, I am going to make more of an effort to put down what stands out from my days, even if they are a bit repetitive for the time being; having two jobs that can keep me busy from 730am to 1030pm some days or both give me two days off in the same week for much-needed rest and me time. 

This morning started with a body-burning pilates living-room session. Some people might like to warm up their muscles and cool them in the shower, but I prefer to steam up via candle flames, which provide enough light in the early morning and is easier on my eyes prior to the sun coming through the windows and my ears as I don’t have to listen to the vent fan scream at me. I can continue to exist in a state of peace as I transition from dreamland to reality, something I seem to be doing more of lately. 

I get a message from my boss at Advance Auto asking me to call her because she’s having trouble scheduling me for the week. I have the option, online, to ask for time off, days off, or change my availability. I’ve tried all three now and have to be aware of how long those changes last as the latter left me not able to work until 2099 or something weird. I deleted the requests and sent them via text after our call to clear that up. 

A bit of back story here to catch you up. I recently changed job fields, again. In November, I applied for a few jobs and two responded, so I went to interviews. The one at Advance Auto went well, as I showed up early and the other guy didn’t show at all. Dollar Tree on the other hand hired me on the spot just for being there, which is reminiscent of everyone getting a gold star, but I took it. I also accepted the raise to an assistant manager that I got after speaking with the district manager on day two of my training. 

Between the two, I average about 50 hours a week and have already seen a high turnover rate at both jobs. Dollar Tree has one assistant manager leaving so she can finish her schooling in San Francisco, had a cashier walk out in the middle of her shift, and had another cashier that called out all the time and finally decided to quit. Advance Auto had a girl who just couldn’t show up on time, a guy who ghosted a company after finishing his training, and another guy who found something better for him. 

winter living

Here I was worried that missing an hour or calling out for a shift might cost me my job, but these people are giving me security as I start to look around at what else is out there. I got a phone interview with Chuze Fitness, looking to hire me for the front desk position, if someone leaves and I just looked at their assistant manager position and it would be a few dollars more, which means I could work less and still build towards Caleb’s retirement in under two years, which will be a big change for us in many ways. 

I had a customer the other day suggest I look at a job with the city that updates their postings every two weeks as I might find something as well. As much as I might feel that I owe these companies loyalty, they will continue to profit without me, so I can give them honest work while I’m there and until I find somewhere else to spend my precious time, preferably traveling, but working in the meantime. I hadn’t thought of the opportunities that being a retail assistant manager might bring, but I will start to look. 

The Advance Auto store that I got hired to work at isn’t quite ready for customers yet. I got to help set the shelves and apply item labels, but now we wait on inspectors to check the work of some shady contractors who didn’t care whether the job got done right the first or third time before they brought someone else in to finish. My boss gets to oversee these guys all day and sends her employees to other stores in the area to spend their shifts. 

I’m becoming a bit of a legend with wiper blades as I was able to find the right adapter and replace them when a few of the guys and one from Pep Boys next door were having trouble. I was also sent down the street to check on a Mercedes, accidentally took a blade off the wrong car (same make and model though), and had to pick up a special set from WorldPac and deliver it back. I am by no means the all-knowing car parts seller now and still ask for help when I don’t know where something is. 

What I don’t know to ask for help with I will be shown along the way when someone notices I’m not doing it right or could be doing it better. I enjoy the team spirit and camaraderie that I feel at Advance Auto as I learn more about my co-workers’ personal lives and share laughs with them that fill the store with the sound of my joy, something a few of them enjoy causing. “Laughing — a momentary anesthesia of the heart — because emotions have greater inertia and persistence than thoughts.”

Advance Auto uniform

Dollar Tree is less personable among employees because there can be an overwhelmingly long line sometimes, to the point where a customer got upset and threw his basket down. Others leave frozen foods out and drinks half full for us to throw away when we find them. The intentional mess that is a constant helps others hide the torn packaging of their stolen prize. Under the new store manager, we are working hard to clean the place up, and though it’s an uphill battle, some of our customers have noticed. 

Ok, so then I research fancy resorts on different discount apps to see which one gives the better deal, but then realize that I don’t stay at resorts unless it’s my birthday or our anniversary. Advance Auto requires me to take an hour-long lunch, while Dollar Tree only allows me thirty minutes, which I think is sufficient. One day Caleb was able to spend the hour with me and we walked the perimeter of the shopping plaza. 

Today, I will walk into Barnes and Noble. I’m not there to buy anything, but I will pick up a few titles, give them a sniff, and read their back cover. There are so many topics to read about and I’m grateful that I’ll never run out of options, unless of course all the libraries were to suffer the same fate as the one in Los Angeles in 1986, where firefighters feared a flashover, but they were still able to save so much, unlike other historic collections over hundreds of years that have met with dictators. 

I still had some time left and wandered into PetSmart, which I always thought was Pets Mart, but I had mixed emotions going in there with no companion excitedly trying to get to all the balls and a large tire with a rope that we should have taught him to swing from, but that’s in the past now. What’s left are all these caged animals that I want to buy and set free — the small snake, the pygmy bearded dragons, the parakeets, fuzzy rodents, and tanks of fish — but that would only encourage the store to buy more. 

I do appreciate the hour to spend walking, talking, reading, shopping, or researching whatever has my interest at the moment; though I also like getting through the workday and being able to be out of uniform when doing those same things. I’ve been working so much while Caleb has been in Singapore but him being home for the holidays and having eight days off, while I only had one, was tougher on us than perhaps we thought it would be. 

pygmy bearded dragon

But that’s why we thought about this when I changed jobs anyway. We wanted me to find something that would help us work towards retirement, Caleb wants me to be in a field that I have a degree in, and I want something that gets me out of the house and lets me socialize for a while, as needed, which is a lot more than I realized. I do think it’s having the desired effect though as I start to get back to the things that matter most to me and make time for them throughout the day. 

This isn’t about not wanting to do these things, but having the mental energy and positive attitude required to pursue them. I’m thankful to have my time off back and not have to worry about useless things, which is why I won’t ever be a manager and take on all those responsibilities. I’m ok with doing my time and clocking out. It’s crazy how one day can turn into one year and tiny habits disappear that created who you are. I’m thankful to the people who have stuck by me, even though I can be difficult. 

So, after lunch, I tried to do some annually mandated compliance training but got sent on a tire pick-up and drop-off, then spent some time on the phone with Deborah, again, this time with her explaining why she wasn’t coming in today to pick up Torque ceramic car wax spray, but that she would try to be less lazy and slow tomorrow. Good luck to her and whichever vehicle is getting the fancy treatment at $40 per bottle. My next trip would consist of four stops, all within miles of each other. 

I got hired as a driver and retail parts pro and enjoy what both bring to my work day. One allows me to talk with people and learn more about them and the vehicles they use and possibly help them fix a problem or continue a project or take a trip or return home safely. The other allows me solitude under surveillance to take in the scenery and let my thoughts wander and to take these calmer driving practices into my vehicle. 

The night shift arrives and the drivers can leave for the day. Caleb is getting settled into his exit row seat for his long-haul flight return from Singapore, where he spent just a week this time. I’ll get home and some of tonight’s ingredients consist of hot kimchi and frozen mango (because they’re more consistent and precut). I’ve bought frozen avocados for the same reason, but the chunks are bigger and the center doesn’t always thaw by the time I’m ready to eat, so it’s a surprise. 

just another day for a tire shop

I’m currently still reading The Library Book by Susan Orlean, hence the reference earlier. Upon starting this book I realized that I’ve watched a movie adaptation of one of her previous works and think I would enjoy reading more from this author. I have to thank the life of Chas Lummis, who in living gloriously almost a century ago has kindly reminded me of how wonderful my life can be if I’d take the time to notice and make memories every chance I get. 

P.S. I’ve had my tires aligned before but have never seen the process. Today, I got a peek at how it’s done. I’m fascinated by how much I don’t know and am thrilled that I’m willing to learn and watch others perform their best skills and continue to hone mine.

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